SuperTudoG

Super Tudo G! It doesn’t take all that much to create a decent porn site; the product is universally loved. First, even bad porn is still naked people. Second, most porn sites are not producing the porn themselves. They are just compiling it, so the pressure is off their back to make a good product. It’s like a pizza place that imports all the za from other locations.

If you can figure out a decent way to display the naked people, everyone is happy. Some places get fancy with it with clever menus and wild categories. Others get out of the way and let the porn do the talking. That’s how Supertudogay gets the job done. They know you aren’t here to be impressed by design. You’re here to cum.

Taking it Easy

The only two menu buttons that matter are home and categories. The category list is kept to only 13 options. And one of the categories is literally called “assorted videos.” This shit isn’t the wright brothers; this is a pleasant stroll on two legs. They may keep the design to a minimum, but they have collected over 17,000 gay porn videos. That’s enough to keep even you, thirsty fucks happy.

It has taken me two paragraphs to break down the entire website; that’s how simple this shit is. Let’s take a tour of the categories. But before we dive deep into the faggotry, I have to talk about the cock I saw on the front page. This man’s penis took a full ninety degrees turn to the left. I’ve never seen anything like it. By slowly rotating while he fucks you, he can rake clean the inside of your asshole. If he taped a paint scraper to his dick tip, he could be a medical tool. I dub thee, captain curvature. Color me impressed and horrified.

Alrighty, let’s move on and start with amateurs. The great thing about amateur porn these days is that even cheap cameras have excellent pixel density. These may not be professionals, but it still has a glossy sheen. Sometimes it’s hard to believe these guys aren’t pros. You fags keep such great care of yourselves, any one of you could enter the game top of your class.

I understand you’re not a pro, Mr. Harry Johnson, but I think you could have come up with a more creative name. The dude you’re fucking is named XXLTopLondon. The dude is rolling up with a chat room screen name, and all you have is Harry Johnson? Step your game up bitch. As the video begins, Harry is showing off his amateur skill level. All I can think about watching him tug on XXLs dick through his sweatpants is chaffing. This fag is going to need some petroleum jelly by the time this is over. I hope those pants are made of a soft polyester cotton blend. XXL decided to skip lotion and seek relief in a solid throat fucking. The gagging sounds sent my cock deep within the recesses of my organs. I may never get hard again.

Bareback?

Bareback comes up as the next category. I continue to be mystified by the bareback category in gay porn. I’ve reviewed dozens of gay sites and have yet to see even a single condom. If you click between the homepage and bareback, you will see no difference.

A video of note here is “Straight Boy Tight Ass - Roman Todd and Thony Gray.” I will continue to argue that if you let a dude fuck you in the ass, you’re a fag. I will die on this hill. I’m talking to you frat boys. Did you need friends that bad, or did you just want to suck a dude’s dick? You don’t have to be honest with me, but be honest with yourself.

Roman, who I think was the “straight” guy, is getting a jerk-off session in as his girl sleeps next to him in bed. His gay roommate comes in and sees the guy jerking over the privacy wall. Thony starts in on himself while watching. No way did Roman not see Thonys big ass jerking in the corner, but that’s neither here nor there.

After Roman catches Thony jerking, he immediately invites him over, no questions. That gay 100%. At least pretend to care. Thony starts jerking him off as anticipated. Here is where Roman proves his gayness. He starts rubbing the other dude’s nipples. No, no, no. Even if somehow you are a straight guy that’s desperate for human contact, you don’t rub the dude’s nipples. You close your eyes and pretend that guy is anyone with a pussy. I call your bluff bitch.

Fat Cocks

The gifted category is where a lot of you fags will be spending your time. These gentlemen have been blessed with members of above-average length. There are some serious hogs in these halls. You see, the vagina was built to have a baby pass through it, so I get why they can accept a massive dong. How you warm up the male ass to that idea, I will never know. I found it too hard to watch, so I had to move onward. I have my limits.

Good old hand jobs. After the shit I’ve seen during my time at fag war, handjobs are a welcome respite. It does make me wonder if the gay cock is more calloused than the straight cock, though. A lot of these handjobs start with vigorous through-the-pants action. I can almost feel the flesh leaving my shaft while watching. Perhaps the gay colon becomes perforated, causing a sandpaper-like texture that builds the resilience of fag cock.

On the opposite side of the spectrum is orgies. Fags, you can’t tell me that room doesn’t smell like poop after an orgy. I don’t care how many enemas you had before coming to work that day. Some things don’t wash out. I suppose it’s the sacrifice you guys have to make for a cum. If I were gay, I would have to rely on blow jobs and fleshlights to get the job done. Perhaps you fags would call me weak of spirit for it, but I hate the smell of poop.

Moon Cookies

Gay, straight, Bi, it doesn’t seem to matter. Everybody loves watching giant black cock turn white people’s insides into soup. We can debate the socioeconomic reasons as to why that is but for now, let’s enjoy it. I may not be gay, but I can see fear in a man’s eye. That’s the look a white dude has before a massive black dick slams into his O ring. The look says, “I hope this damage won’t be permanent.” No promises, my man.

Another universally loved taboo is public sex. From what I’ve grown to understand about gay culture, I’m lucky to have never run into gays banging while walking my dog at the park. Hopefully, my luck holds out. I do plan on double-checking all public bathrooms before I make an entrance. I have to give kudos for the shit you guys do for the game. Not everyone can be halfway to getting a swirly while having a gaping anus. Just watch out for getting toilet water up your ass. That’s not the type of pre-anal enema you want to receive.

I had to take another comparative break and check out “Naked men.” It wasn’t long ago such a category would have terrified me. Now, I consider it as resting my laurels. For better or worse, I’m knowledgeable enough to pass judgment on a cock these days. I was disappointed by the dude in the first listed video. He has big muscles, but his member makes mine look like a Gatling gun. On a positive note, if I had to be fucked in the ass by someone, I would choose him. I might not even notice it happening.

Supertudogay is simple to the point of elegance. There are no extra doohickeys, cogs, or ghosts in the machine. It’s a collection of great porn that will tug a nut out of your gay balls in a heartbeat. So why waste time with anything else?

Even with the grand simplicity of Supertudogay, I can call it out. The third menu item I have yet to mention is a DMCA warning. Like most compilation sites, they do not own the content. That a third of their menu is dedicated to this warning makes me think many videos get taken down. I would be crushed if my favorite butt fucking video was removed.

I know those heavy balls of yours are swelling with cum right now, so free yourself from the bondage of semen with a visit to Supertudogay.