Super Slots

I started using VPNs after so many YouTube ads kept shoving it into my face. There's a buddy of mine I share it with, because that's what buddies do, right? He lets me in on his horny collection, and I let him lie to other sites about his location. Yes sir, my buddy is definitely in Europe now, let him watch that three-minute clip. That same pal caught wind of me poking around the online casino joint and passed me some coordinates. Now, I'm not talking about VPNs because the link was some super-secret government domain. It just has some limitations here and there that you might feel if you had the misfortune of spawning in some backwater. I'm not sharing my VPN with you so go away!

I'll seriously kick you if you start licking my boots. Anyway, the site I was edging you on is SuperSlots.ag. If your brain is online this fine day and you're actually wondering what country that .ag belongs to, it's Antigua and Barbuda. There is some shit about how it's used by German companies and, get this, agricultural sites! Like, who am I blowing a load into and who is facefucking me?! Whatever man, SuperSlots is an online casino that also dips its toes into eSports. It also has games that are actually not your stupid dick blackjack and poker. Doesn't change the fact that it's a gambling site, but I'm a dick sucker for any sign of quality. So follow me boys and I'll be showing you around!

For anyone not in the US

The only real country is the land of freedom (insert eagle screech sounds)! Nothing else exists out there, and only 'Murica matters! If by some mistake of God you are actually, like, not from the land of the free... well, SuperSlots might not be turned on. I was too lazy and only tried it in a certain Eastern country and got a "nu-hu." For your end, if you click on the site's link and it opens, congrats! If not, well, you can't go wrong with switching your location to the burger capital. This tidbit is so high up my review list because, unlike my fellow Americans, I actually know there is a world beyond. Hey, my favorite guys are Slavic men. You think I'd do my boys dirty like that?

What's the freshest thing?

Games and games everywhere. The place is pretty big and has some meat on its bones from what I saw. I have three things I'd like to point you at, starting with Instant Win Games. These toys are different from your run-of-the-mill table games and slots. You get chickens, balloons, mines, Plinko, crash games, and some other stuff. I think I saw 120+ titles, but my memory is garbage. What I'm getting at is that you're not tied to the same shit when you join, which actually gives the place some merit. These games are originals, too, so supposedly you only get to see them here. It's a decent snack, but it's obvious that it's not the main course.

The second thing I got my condom popped on was the Virtual Game tab. This is where you get to do some live betting, or so I think. I didn't really get it figured out, but my ego is too big to admit I fucked up. I watched the tab for a bit, and it looks like it shrinks and grows as various games are played. I saw Brawl Stars, Snooker Breaks, The King of Fighters, and the one and only pH0 (that's jacked up acid) game of all time, League of Legends. How appealing this tab is depends on your inner nerdiness. But hey, you're here reading my stuff. There's a decent chance you're one of the rejects just like me.

The last guy in the train gets the cleanest cock, so here is the live casino area! My math skills are telling me there were 80 live tables when I snuck my greasy head through. Blackjack and baccarat are the norm as always, but I also saw the lottery category. There are other live games here, like Wheel Of Fortune, T-Basket, and Crypt Of Giza. These are not as numerous, but I'm a guy who likes his variety, and you probably like new things too. The whole live casino basket is made for blokes who want to play with real people. If you're content being forever alone and don't trust Lady Luck around other people (she famously cuckolds everyone eventually), then you can skip this one.

About those slot and table games

"All of that is nice and shiny, great and amazing, Mr. Porn Dude, but what about slot games?" First of all, how nice of you to finally acknowledge my greatness! Second of all, yeah, the site is full of slots. There are so many titles for slots and virtual poker that I had to stop and consider if some were never played in the first place. Well, I didn't overthink it and just did a rough total count. There should be 1700+ entries. Not all of them are slots, but go do something by yourself once in your life and figure it out. Just go to the cherry-marked slots category, and you'll see the number right there. I promise that slots are the most numerous games. What? Are you gonna play them all? Pressing X to doubt.

Let's peek into some technical things

Warning! This is an adults-only area! Evacuate immediately or get hit with a thousand years of homework! Or that's pretty much the gist with any gambling site. They're not gonna poke the loaded mousetrap. It's not nearly as fun as a bukkake. Speaking of that, let me give you a white shower that's the opposite of fun. The papers! Read them, hate them, but follow the instructions like you're a sub. SuperSlots has many payment options, and they are really fishing for Crypto with all those benefits. But if you're using normie cash, expect to see minimum and maximum deposits. For example, Visa has a maximum deposit of $2500. Don't be a whiner and read up on that text before you get too excited.

Yeah, SuperSlots doesn't have much in terms of no-stakes play. The best I saw was a free spin in their Tournament tab that allowed freemium gaming and a chance to win tokens. There are a few tournaments you can try, and you increase your chances by using real money in games. It all boils down to that sweet moolah. Can't even get a nude these days without it. Win or lose, the site tallies how much you spent and adds it to the VIP counter. The more you whale, the better benefits you get. I know your brain is the size of a pea, but don't get baited too much into the system. If you get bonuses, you get bonuses. Don't drop your gag there.

I'm mostly here for the insta-win games

I feel like I've been throwing bricks at you a little too much today. Here is the special, limited-time exclusive sorry from me. Cherish, it's because I'm not gonna be throwing you another anytime soon. So, what are my thoughts so far? Well, I think you and I can both agree that you are not going to get bored if you choose to play here. And we can also agree that only those who are willing to pay get to join in. It's a gambling site. It might have some fancy games and features other sites don't feature, but the final plan is always to open your wallet and lift some greens from it. We all know corporations don't care about us little folks, so we need to treat ourselves with respect first.

I mean, just look at the highest VIP tier. I'm not religious, but I think the points system might be trying to whale-bait god, or the owners are just testing their luck to reel in a bored millionaire. You're just a small fish, and that's actually ok. Pace yourself and treat it like the claw machine at the mall. Give it a few pulls, feel the hope ebb and flow. Maybe you walk out with a horse plush, maybe nothing happens. My advice is to just have fun and know where your limits are if you do decide to play. What's the final verdict then? I'll eat the cookies and say that SuperSlots.ag has strong enough merits to be checked out. Smell you on the next review!