The straights got their boobs and butts, the gays got dicks and butts. I’m yet to find a site that focuses on the male booty beyond just plowing it, so I guess I might as well stick to the cocks for now. I’m once again going to be picking out one of the channels from the Massive Gay Pass network and seeing what it’s made out of and if the fap is going to be any good. The theme is big dick energy today, so strap in and be sure to raise your expectations to a point where nothing will be able to meet it. It’s the only way to do life on the net. Go big or get bent! One must always feel angry or horny but never calm.
The fun of big dicks is always the size
With a name like XXLCock, I’m honestly imagining some freak fat monsters in the pants. The kinds that are probably too big to feel enjoyable, but what do I know? I only ever tried out the conventional big dildos and didn’t go for anything massive. And yep, dem’s some big roosters indeed. But if you were expecting everything to be chonky, you’re in a bit of a bind. Sure, the big ones are BIG, but there is also a respectable amount of still big but noticeably more modest manhoods to ogle. You know what they say! If everything is big, then nothing is big. You kinda need a base of comparison to keep it feeling good. Like that sip of water before you continue shoving sugar into your face. Bonus points for the small dick big dick fetish. Really underrated niche!
The lads on the screen are a rainbow in more than one way
Who are the men packing this heat, you may wonder? Well, XXLC is one master of diversity! The last few scenes in the collection are all about men of color going at it on other MOC. That abbreviation has to be a crime, right? Anyway, if you ever wanted to see a Latino on a Latino or an occasional Asian on a Latino, the library here has some genuine surprises in store. Of course, our prized white dudes and black studs are in there too. With these four dicks of power, the fifth element of cum is assembled! That’s an ancient shitty joke I just made. Either way, the range of penis sources means you’re dealing with intact and chopped, curved and hanging, and all other shapes! It’s not that much of a lottery, but it works for a bit.
As for how popular the dudes are? Well, in the typical Massive Gay Pass fashion, the fellas are gonna be primarily amateurs from some forgotten corners of the porn world. It sure is fun to have a look at them after so long! The channel generally doesn’t care for the body types, so you get hairy lads, muscle guys, daddies and bears, twinks with beards, and other wonders that make the collection a real rollercoaster ride! Another thing to note is the retro and vintage style of the MGP. You get much more than male bodies, you get styles from the 80s to the 2000s, which makes this even more fun! Yeah, you can tell I liked this channel by how much I’m glazing its balls. Let your PornDude do his thing and enjoy himself for once!
Some big fucking notes on the network status
Ok so let me address the elephant in the room. Insert one of those Address Me memes here if you will. I’ve been sorting through MGP for a while now, so it’s no secret that the place is in rough fucking shape. Nothing here updates anymore. Well, I guess I could count a stray new video on some channels that drops every so often, but those are not new films, muchacho. It’s just your recycling HQ, but I'm sure the environmentalists would cream and pass out if something like this existed in physical space and not just as a shitty porn site. The porn is also pretty outdated. Sure, I can give some a pass since vintage, but c’mon! The newest ones are at best 480p! The SD quality is really a curse in this place!
But the numbers are pretty worth your time
The numbers game is what pulls this whole thing from crap to mid, so you really need to sorta, maybe, kinda, change your expectations. It’s not new porn, it’s antique smut! Simple as, you gotta be the collector of the day. Our ye fat XXLC is boasting 105 films in the gallery. It’s not much, but it’s up there as a Massive Gay Pass channel. One of the biggest bonuses is that you always get unlimited downloads, so it’s not like you're stuck staring at SD smut and doing nothing else. There aren’t that many pics, and besides, they’re pretty shit. But each vid gets a pic set and a zip file to stuff it in, so at least you have your options. We love having options in this house.
Now, when I look at the Massive Gay, I am sorta seeing double. The shitty recycling trend it’s doing makes it so I’m feeling like Schrödinger, and the site has 6800+ and 5200+ movies in the box until I open it. To balance your expectations, I’d go with the lower number because at least you’ll mald less if it turns out as the actual number. All channels I saw were themed to hell and back, but if you’re digging Latin action, I think you might vibe with Brazilian Dicks, Young Hot Latinos, and Latino Cock Stars. I mean, there are 36 channels, some even Asian, so you can make your picks when you hop in. Based on my vibe check, almost every vid has pics, and most channels are rocking around 100 clips.
Into the money matrix with thee!
Did you spare some time to meditate on the pros and cons till now? Well, it's time to make up your mind because you need a recurring sub if you want to get unlimited downloads and yank everything here. I donno what you’ll do with so much smut, but I sure as shit got a lil’ folder to put some of my highlights in. But anyway, the usual porn site cautions apply here. You need to hunt and kill all pre-selected sales on the billing page because those fucks are bloodsuckers. You also need to cancel your sub to avoid paying for one more round. There’s a 3-day trial but… yeah, no. Yuck, icky, gross, all that nasty. I’m not even gonna be bringing it up in this review. Just no. Begone, witch!
Oh, and before I hit you with the price breakdown, just a heads up. You can use your raw credit card to pay, or you can hook in your PayPal by switching to the Epoch biller. It might be easier for ya, but I just wanted to have it here before I move on.
Alright! Moneeeeee!! There are three valid, full sub options to take up. All got downloads, so it really just boils down to how much money you want to jam into the shredder and turn into compost. The one I feel is the sanest option is the 30-day drive-by for $24.95/month, but you might feel too pressed for time. That’s fine, you also have the 90-day access deal for $49.95. Pay attention to that one because it gets rebilled as that every three months. If you can tank losing a bunch of dolla’ bills all at once, the annual sub might be your option. It sucks out $99.95/year per turn, but the value of that is up to you.
I’m not as scorned as I thought I’d be but it’s all p mid
There’s only so much a site can have going for it to offset the big debuffs called “SD porn only” and “no longer updating.” Those two are pretty big yikes, so the smut library only manages to even it out to ok. I didn’t really go into the ad situation, but yeah, a site like this is full of them, and it's starting to show its age since it sometimes goes slow on me. This grandpa is not gonna be your first choice of smut, but he does pack some really interesting smut. Well, interesting to me, and my standards are all over the place. As long as you like what you see, that’s all that actually matters in life. PornDude signing out!
