Hole Hunter

Are you a Hole Hunter? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, the phrase might conjure mental images of camo-wearing deer killers, cave-diving spelunkers or superfans of either the 2003 Shia LeBeouf flick or Courtney Love’s old grunge band. Of course, you’re reading this on MyGaySites, so you’re probably already thinking about sticking your dick in that titular Hole, even if you haven’t yet figured out just what kind of cavities we’re talking about. Are the holes in question butts, mouths, or something else entirely?

Well, butts and mouths are certainly involved, though they’ll often be accessed via another glorious type of hole. Do you get what I’m talking about yet? HoleHunter.com is a directory of the local cruising spots and glory holes in your area. Their traffic has been going way up lately, which is fucking great for a community-oriented website like this. Let’s take a look and see where these perverts are meeting up to suck, fuck, and stick their ding-dongs into dark, mysterious voids.

Getting Head at the Park or Wal-Mart

When the weather is nice and I’ve finished my evening rounds of masturbation, I sometimes like to take late-night bike rides around town. For a while, I had a whole routine of finishing my reviews for MyGaySites and ThePornDude, then riding a couple miles to a local park. The park was always the midpoint in my journey. Quiet and isolated, it was also the perfect opportunity to fire up a doobie, which made the ride back even more fun.

One night, as that sweet sativa smoke curled around my brain, I couldn’t help noticing that the only light in the park was the one glowing on the side of the public restroom building. It suddenly occurred to me that this might be an ideal location for cruising if you’re into gay anonymous sex. I wasn’t in the mood to get my dick sucked by a stranger, so instead of investigating the restrooms, I finished my joint and went home.

Which brings me to HoleHunter. Before I’d ever even heard of the site, I had my suspicions about that park, but I wasn’t sure about anything. When HoleHunter.com slid into my DMs, one of the very first things I saw was a listing of that very park. “Large wooded park on the lake with many places to coordinate and meet for action,” read the front-page blurb, “especially at the public restroom. Be discreet.”

You’ll have to let Hole Hunter have access to your location data if you want instant local listings, of course. If you’re browsing in incognito mode or have otherwise restricted that access, you’ll have to choose your location from the map. Either way, it’s easy and you’ll probably find a ton of local listings in your area.

I’m way off in the Podunk Chicago suburbs today, and I’m kind of blown away by just how many local cruising spots they’ve listed in my area. Turns out gaylords ain’t just humping in the park, but also at the YMCA, the truck stop parking lot, Planet Fitness, Target, and most surprisingly, the restroom at the goddamn grocery store. HoleHunter describes that last one thusly: “Cruisy men's restroom with one stall. The door is loud and a piece of the wall sticks out where you can hide for action.”

Find a Mysterious Hole for Your Dick

HoleHunter.com hints at glory hole fun in the name, but most of the locations they list don’t actually have anonymous dick holes for use. Sometimes the blurbs will even specify the lack of glory holes, especially in places where you might expect them. For example, the porn store off the highway has a writeup that tells you outright, “No gloryhole at this location.”

If real glory holes are what you’re after, look for them in the listing. There’s a highway rest area about a twenty-minute drive from here, and it’s long been a known cruising spot. I knew a guy who briefly had a custodial gig there, and cruisers would leave notes on his car asking if he wanted to fuck while he cleaned toilets. He didn’t, but you might. HoleHunter.com mentions that this place has peep holes, and that the “Best chance for understall action is after 8pm when the staff have left.”

I clicked through to see HoleHunter’s full listing for that rest area, which includes a map so you don’t get lost along the way. Users can edit the listings, but I didn’t have anything to add. I was more interested in the current activities. Turns out, this place ain’t as hopping as it once was; the last comment was a good six months ago. Maybe the cops are cracking down on rest area sex.

By default, they show you the closest cruising locations at the top of the screen. I wish you could reshuffle by activity, because the action is really in the comments. There’s an anonymous comment section for every location on the site, which is where the Hole Hunters really do their hole hunting.

How I Met Your Father

Out on the front page, they list every spot with a little thumbnail image, a blurb, and the distance from you. One of the most vital bits of info, in my opinion, is how long ago the most recent comment was posted. If you’re looking to get laid or toss some salad through a mystery hole tonight, your best bet is one of the locations with recent comments.

Remember that grocery restroom I mentioned? Well, that comment thread is fucking hopping! Based on the most recent comments from a couple days ago, it looks like a couple of these dudes met up. “I just want to have sex anyone pls,” wrote one. The first reply read, “Same here. I’d love to blow a load and slobber on some cock.” The comments after that are more practical matters like, “Are you in the blue car?” and “Yes I am.”

Comments are posted without any usernames or other identifying info, but they do assign users a randomly generated icon based on their IP address. This will help ensure you’re talking the same person throughout the thread. Otherwise, the system would be open for blatant abuse. This way, nobody will be able to send fake replies posing as somebody else.

HoleHunter.com discourages users from posting phone numbers. Sometimes, though, those digits are the easiest way to meet up with somebody. They roll some basic protections into the platform, so users will have to agree not to be dicks before they view posted phone numbers. As somebody who lives on the internet, I have my doubts about how effective that is, but hey, it’s your life and your risk.

Verified users can block their phone numbers from being posted, see who shared their digits, and delete all traces of their number from the site. Again, I’m not sure how effective this would be, but it’s nice that they have the feature.

The How-Tos of Cruising and Glory Holes

There are a lot of dudes out there who still think cruising and glory holes are some kind of urban legend. Personally, I didn’t realize they were real until a redneck-looking dude wearing a Dale Earnhardt hat, t-shirt and jacket asked if I wanted a blowjob at a highway rest area. There are other dudes who realize cruising is legit, but don’t quite understand how to access all that free cocksucking, dick stroking and butthole banging.

Well, the Hole Hunter website is an easy entry into the scene. Not only do they list local locations where you might find some action, but they offer a whole section of cruising etiquette and glory hole tips. There’s no reason to feel around in the dark unless that’s your thing. They’ve got tips broken down by location, so you’ll know what to do in parks, in restrooms, gyms and parking lots.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if HoleHunter.com makes new cruisers out of some of the youngbloods in the audience today. A generation ago, there was a whole lot more guesswork. I don’t have to tell you how dangerous that shit was. It’s still risky today, and especially so if you live in a conservative backwoods full of violent MAGA morons. HoleHunter helps minimize that risk with its cruising tips, location directory and anonymous comments. Good luck and stay safe!