Djizz (NetHomo)

Myspace is a distant memory, if you can remember it at all. The flashy backgrounds, the shitty music, and the boxy design. Social media had to start somewhere, and Myspace was ground zero.

Since those days, things have evolved a long way. Gone is the Vegas vibe and pop-punk music. Instead, Facebook became the new blueprint, and social media sprung up everywhere. Today, you can find social media sites based on every lifestyle.

It didn’t take long for the concept to trickle down into the internets’ underworld, where you, the pervs, dwell. For decades everyone was in their own little hovels jerking off to whatever they could find. Pervs worried they were all alone. They thought no one could be jerking off as much as they were.

Boy, were they wrong. The whole world is full of miscreants with their cock in hand. Once they began gathering, the next move became apparent. They were all horny as fuck; why were they sitting at home jerking instead of fucking each other?

For some of you, that answer is clear. Nobody wants to see the desiccated roadkill you call a cock. You would be surprised, though. For every cock, there is a mouth or an asshole that will accept it. And the only way to know is to get out in the mix. That used to require going outside and joining the society. I know that’s too much work for most of you shit bags, though.

You guys want to walk outside and stumble into some cock no questions asked. Well, we haven’t hit that level yet, but social media brings us closer to it. Nowadays, you can line up a solid cock cleaning without ever leaving the house.

Djizz is a premier gay social media site that connects you with like-minded cock-smiths. So whether you’re looking for friends, relationships, or quick fucks, this is the place to find it.

Djizz looks like a combination of every social media website you have ever visited. They took aspects of popular examples and blended them into an informative layout.

Everything you want to know before jabbing your cock in someone’s ass is covered.

After giving some basic info, you can dispel as much or as little personal shit as you like. A good rule of thumb is to expect to get as much as you give. The more open you are, the more likely you are to be opened.

Profile Set-up

Let’s start at the beginning. Sign up is easy and made fun with visuals.

First, let everyone know your body type. You might as well tell the truth. A motherfucker is going to see your body anyway. They will talk shit if you’re trying to suck in your gut and say you’re not a slab of shit.

Next, let them know where and how old that fat body of yours is. Hot tip, anyone with a nine at the end of their age is lying. Add five years minimum.

Then, let the people know what you’re looking for. Friends, relationships, or a good fucking. I don’t know who is just looking for friends here. For Christ’s sake, you all have enough friends. Dudes are here looking for a tight asshole attached to a nameless stranger.

Now it’s time for the real questions. What is your favorite position? Well, I wouldn’t know, but I bet you do it all. Your whole body is open for business – if you can fit a cock in it, a cock has been and will be returning there again. Also, if you are a more refined gentleman, you can let people know if you’re a bottom or top.

That takes us to more info about what you look like, starting with race. I understand not everybody can be a big black guy with a fat cock. It would be nice, wouldn’t it? After that, let people know your style. They offer options like hipster, biker, street, and goth. The list goes on.

Things continue to classic height and weight. Expect everyone to be 2 centimeters shorter and 2 kilos heavier than described. I bet even with your smudging the numbers; you’re still a sack of fried dog shit.

The following few questions are about hair. Again, everything from head to pubes is covered. No one wants to end up coughing out a hairball when they hoped for a shaved princess.

Cock Size

Let’s skip the smoking bull shit and get back to the essential shit, cock size! You can choose from S, M, L. XL, XXL, and (probably most guys favorite) FUCK. Let me guess; your asshole has been blown out more than a hairdryer. If a dude isn’t whipping out the sledgehammer, you might not even know they’re behind you. And that’s, probably, why it doesn’t matter what you bring to the table.

The following few questions are about what you’re into. Body size, age range, type of sex preferred, fetishes, and lifestyle are all included. Okay, now that you have an account set up, what is on this bitch? Well, there is a ton of information on your home screen. I’ll go over all the vital shit from the top.

How Hard Are You Right Now?

One of the most favorite parts of Djizz is right up top. You can select your horniness level for people to see when you’re online. Did you just get your balls drained by a homeless guy on public transport? Set your status to cold. Is a vein on your cock about to pop open if you don’t cum in someone’s mouth in the next half hour? Set your level to explosive.

As you would see on Facebook, there is a box to add posts to your page. Below that is the activity of all your friends. On the left, you can add pictures and send direct messages. Hopefully, your message bin will be overflowing with horny men hunting for dick-downs. If not, the “my stats” section of your profile will remind you of your inadequacy. Finally, rounding out the bottom of the left side is a list of events. Most of the events are clubbing get-togethers.

Think of the right side of Djizz as the horny side. It starts with suggested profiles. These are based on your descriptions of what you’re looking for. You can be detailed with your wants. There are plenty of people on the site to meet any demand.

Cams

Below are the exhibit cams. Thirst trap warning! If you’re set to explosive, the cams might split your cock in twain. But, there is always a lot happening here, so take your time and give it a thorough exploration. Perhaps even give back to the community and show the people what you’re packing.

Last but certainly not least are the chats. The main list is generated by vicinity and your preferences. It lists the person’s name, age, distance to you, and horniness level. I kind of thought everyone on the site would be explosive, but there is a solid mix. Not everyone is in constant need of a ball drain like you are. Poor bastards.

You can filter your chat suggestions by direct search, your favorite people, or only explosive. I know you are all about that only explosive shit. You are trying to find dudes whose cock is seconds away from bursting forth like a geyser. It means you won’t have to work hard making this rando cum, and you won’t have any conversation beforehand. I guess it makes sense – if you want to chat, call your mom. Most dudes came to this shady hotel in a bad part of town because they want to spear your liver with dicks like fishing with a harpoon.

Djizz thought of nearly everything. I can tell that this was a website the developers had wished existed, so they went out and made it. I can only imagine how many sweaty fuck sessions would have never happened were it not for these guys’ dedication. I hope they still have plenty of time outside work to take advantage and score some ass.

No man can think of every contingency, though, and I still see room for improvements. The home page appears a bit scrambled. There is so much information to deliver and only so much space to display it in. I bet you don’t want any info skipped in the name of aesthetics, but there must be a more intuitive way to lay it out.

Djizz is the Facebook of getting your ass reamed. There is no better way to stay connected with friends and find fuck buddies. I hate going out to bars and putting work into finding a horny girl. I much prefer sitting at home, cock in hand, sorting through sluts like I’m online shopping. I believe it isn’t any different for you gays.