Gay Hookups

Somebody sent me a GayHookups SmartLink this morning, and I spent the first half-hour confused. Every time I clicked on the link, it routed me off to some different website. Within minutes, I had toured a particular corner of the Internet, seeing hot shirtless guys, sexy half-naked men, handsome dudes showing off their chiseled abs, as well as a topless animated masturbator with a big dick. I also saw a collection of old guys, also exposing their torsos. It’s been a wild ride, but it has proven at least one thing: queers hate wearing shirts.

Maybe it has happened to you, or perhaps it’s about to. If you click the magic Gay Sex Dating link, it automatically redirects you to a gay dating site in your area. I’m sure you’ve already tried Grindr, and maybe you fucked around with Omegle, but what would happen if you combined the two? Instead of hooking you up with a random dude to fool around with, this machine hooks you up with a whole-ass random dating website to test your luck. The Internet gives you all kinds of chances, doesn’t it? It’s never been a better time to be an ugly homo with no personal skills, and honestly, it’s never been a better time to be a stud either. Let’s go check out those odds.

Let’s Do Some Random Gay Sex Dating

The very first time I clicked that Gay Hookups SmartLink, my adblocker gave me a warning saying that it was potentially spam. Now, I do get some false positives with the thing, like when I click links in my email or even some Reddit links for some reason, so I wasn’t put off right away. I just clicked the button to disable the blocked domain and walked on through it temporarily.

On the other side, I found a site called GuysOnly or GuyForGuy, depending on if you read the logo or the domain. The page was lined with men, mostly shirtless, looking for other men to chat, stream, and flirt with. It’s a familiar setup, trying to start the conversation by asking if you’re a Man or a Woman, the first in a series of questions that will set up your account. You’ve played this game before, I’m sure.

GuysOnly had around 4,000 members “looking to hook up right now,” according to the blurb at the top, but I was curious what else Gay Sex Dating had to offer. So, I tried the link again, this time getting a full-page GIF of a guy pulling his pud and blasting a load of spunk in the air. This one’s from MaleLife, who immediately try to get me to opt in to notifications. I blocked those and spent a minute testing their intake survey.

“Many of these men are single guys just seeking some fun,” read the text on the page. “They could be your neighbor or someone you know. Do you agree to keep the identity of these men secret?” After saying the secret was safe with me and promising to use a rubber, I was shuffled along to EZ-Gay. Here a wall of thumbnails offered a well-rounded selection of shirtless black men, tanned-skinned topless musclemen at the beach, and skinnier guys posing without shirts in their bedrooms.

Gay Sex Dating for All Types of Homos

I kept fucking around with the Gay Hookups SmartLink, seeing what it had to offer. Some joints were clearly trying to maintain an air of professionalism, showing me handsome dudes in non-sexual situations. Other sites were very transparent about what they were offering, screaming in all caps, “THIS IS NOT A DATING SITE!” The front-page image on that one was a couple of dudes buttfucking, the on-screen text imploring you to “Please keep their identity a secret!”

What are you into? I saw Gay Sex Dating sites with twinks, hookup directories stocked with bears, places for black gay studs to meet, and plenty with a mix of gentlemen. Again, mainly shirtless and often showing their hard boners because dudes are just more upfront about that. I’ll tell you this: the unsolicited dick pics really don’t work well on most straight dating sites, and I say that from experience.

There are many gay dating sites included, so play around until you land on one that really interests you. I found one for senior black gaylords, which is pretty fucking specific, while others were aimed at more general groups of LGBT folks. The variety’s impressive, though some of the sites have a real small-time feel. Dating sites work best when they’ve got many people connecting, so naturally, your mileage may vary. Personally, my advice is to try the link again if you get a half-ass looking dating site. There’s enough in the pile that you shouldn’t waste your time with anything that looks subpar. You do you, player.

One link showed a cartoon guy with a chiseled eight-pack and a huge, throbbing erection. At the top of the screen, they asked if I was looking for hot hookups tonight in my town. I know people sometimes get squicked out about their browser grabbing their location information, but it tends to make life a whole lot easier in a lot of ways. For one thing, GayHookups can detect where you are and show you hookup sites in your area.

Gay Hookups Around the World

After seeing photos of buff gay American men, hairy gay American men, and various other shirtless American queers, I decided to see what GaySexDating had to offer the rest of the world. Using a VPN, I decided to take a tour of the Gay Hookups sites around the world. (In case you’re unfamiliar with the technology, a VPN lets you browse the Internet from anywhere in the world. At the click of a button, it looks to the servers like I’m in any country I choose.)

I tried that SmartLink a few times from a London server and then did a few clicks as an Argentinian gay dude looking for some strange. I did a few from Australia, the sites offering to hook me up with locals in Melbourne, and then I checked out what Germany had to offer. After a couple of stops in Latvia, I tried out a few of the links GayHookups is giving to their Japanese viewers. Just for shits and giggles, I tried a couple in the United Arab Emirates and Pakistan because of their reputation for being so gay-friendly.

You know what’s fucking weird? No matter what corner of the globe I was connecting from, GaySexDating seemed to route me to the same handful of gay dating sites. The language didn’t even change, offering me English even when I was connected from places where English isn’t the primary language. They’d often acknowledge my (spoofed) location by mentioning the city where I was connecting from, so it looks like the sites are worldwide. Still, I was kind of hoping we’d get completely different options in different places.

Gay sex dating sites with listings worldwide can be very useful, but only the biggest of those global sites thrive. That’s why it was such a bummer to see how they’ve got it set up here. If GaySexDating is sending their Asian users to the same handful of English-language sites, there’s a good chance those Asian perverts are going to be underserved.

That’s not to say that the GaySexDating SmartLink isn’t useful. It just means its utility might be limited to folks in certain parts of the world. Based on what I saw, I think it will be a lot more helpful to folks in places where they speak English. Americans will probably have plenty of options, and I think they’ll do alright in places like the United Kingdom and Canada. If you’re in Central or South America, Asia, Africa, or most of Europe, well, you might want to check out some of the other gay dating sites I’ve reviewed here at MyGaySites.

Quirks aside, I think the whole concept behind Gay Hookups is fucking strong as hell. One of the most frustrating things about online dating or hookups is just deciding which site to post your dick pics on. The element of chance brings some extra fun to something that’s pretty much sexual gambling in the first place. What’s in store for you behind the SmartLink? Well, I guess you’ll just have to click it and find out.