TheBroNetwork

What up, my bros!? What’s cooking in this house, eh? So, about these networks, how are you feeling about them? If you ask Mr. PornDude, the so-called modern network is really just one mega site with a bunch of series lined up. Nothing bad there, I love me some porn diversity, but you start to notice that some smut has similar traits and actors. It happens! It’s how you can tell that some mainstream movies are directed by a bloke with just a glance. Well, I’d like to point out TheBroNetwork, and it’s mostly because I feel like sucking its cock for today. I, much to my doom, started to develop an appreciation for rare porn and vanished studios. So if a network has an “antique,” my dude, I’m actually getting hard for it.

So, what’s the deal? Why am I lubing up my ass to ride this thing? It really has to do with the channels here, dawg. Bro is home to fucking Masqulin, a Canadian studio that got Borged and assimilated. It no longer makes its stuff and sorta vanished as an independent name. I sometimes see it on DVD rental sites as a faded-out name, but it might just be the crust of peeling cum doing its thing. Also, their BroSeekingBro is a fucking rebrand of the old Colby Jansen site, fuck. Well, I mean, BroNetwork has its own stuff, but I am still looking at the Men of Montreal, Hot AF Men, and Amateur Gay POV on the list. It’s actual good shit, quality shit even, enough to make an old gooner fap in respect.

I’ll let you soak up all of this history I casually dropped on you. I need to flex my porn knowledge somehow because Thanksgiving dinners get quiet around me. Well, it’s been a few years since I was invited to one so… ANYWAY! You pretty much get 6 channels to watch, and like, most of the porn here comes from six different studios and production houses. Nothing is the same, and you’ll see different dudes, styles of porn, and even the general filming details are going to be miles apart. See, I really dig shit like this, but if you’re too autistic for this, ya might want to skip out on it. Now that our spectrum brothers are gone, let me walk you into TheBroNetwork and see what’s popping!

The No.1 thing: how’s the porn status?

I donno if you ever played a dick roulette for fun, but this is pretty much how it feels. Crooked dicks, hairy balls, smooth dicks, black dicks - you never know what will poke its pink head out! While you don’t know what every box holds, one thing I can sorta guarantee is that 1080p is going to be your buddy with the vids. Sure, there are some weaker clips here and there, and all other resolution options are meh, but that’s fine. Clip speed and play are also fine, I didn’t have to drop my fleshlight, at least. But well, I have a hunch that maybe the Masqulin clips look better on smaller screens. I don’t know why, but I swear on my lube it has fuzz on bigger screens.

Maybe I’m just itching to see some actual fuzzy hairy balls, but don’t cry when your super expensive PC monitor pops something out that looks like it got chewed and spat out by a toothless GILF. Also, are you the kind of poser who goes “ahem, digital nude photos are better than crude porn?” First off, suck on my cock and choke on my spunk. Second of all, yeah, every clip has a photo set, doesn’t matter where it comes from. That said, you can find some extra pics on top of the whole fucking set, which is like finding a chocolate flake in your snack wrap. Spoiler alert: there are 780+ videos on the site because that’s how many fucking picture sets are on offer. Oldest nudes are like 1280x962, but looksie! The new ones are a shiny 3583x2384!

Ooo! Shiny! Goblin brain wants shiny… I’ll let you nab those when you cough up the membership money because zips are online, babey! So you already know that there are 780+ videos in Full HD about, yeah? Ok, cool. You can also sometimes spot like 40+ videos that come from some other godforsaken websites, but more porn is more porn, so who cares! The bigger issue is the update schedule. Go figure, a site that’s Frankensteined from six others is going to be an unbalanced fuck. Reminds me of a certain someone’s horse dick (not your micro penis trash). I gotta say, you get four vids a month. I vibe, but I’m pretty sure at least one of those is a fucking reupload of an older scene. Well, things might actually be going up, so I think it’ll be foine!

The soul-eating prices and what you get for opening your wallet

So, I’m cruising the net with Monoco’s theme playing in June. Happy Pride Month my favorite cucks! And wow, how I love when soulless corporations deem my rainbow brothers profitable for one whole month of a year and peddle shit to them. On the plus side, better prices! I’m jerking this line off because the prices and offers I see might not be the same you fucking pick up on. Hunt the big holidays, bro. It’s the only way to come out of this with a respectable amount of money left in your pocket. BroNetwork has cheaper streaming-only subs, but funnily enough, the download options are also in there. This is actually kinda huge since you don’t see it up for grabs in the gay lands that often. Reel in your saliva because I need to break the prices to you in a minute.

I’m adding this in advance so you don’t shit and cry: all subs are recurring, and there are PRE-CHECKED CROSS-SALES on the billing page.

Let me slap the shitty 2-day limited access trial. Yeah, fuck this thing. $1 and then rebilled for the full price without downloads.

Upgrading from utter trash, we have the 30-day sub for $9.99/month. This is the streaming option, the budget pack, the fucking plebeian central.

To actually get the fuckass downloads, you need to burn $24.99/month!

Now, if you like what you see and feel like being a more regular cock sucker, the 1-year membership is flashing you with the $47.99/year. Still streaming only, but man. I’d go for it if I was a casual.

But honestly, getting downloads is not even that far off. The annual version of an all-access sub is a juicy $99.97/year!

Let me crank your joe back to life by talking about the hot guys

I just know that someone still swallowed the fucking cross-sale pill. Then you fucks come back to me and bawl about how you got scammed. Dude, I literally pointed it out in caps! Anyway, let’s get our hogs back up after that whole ordeal. What you get when you walk in is lots of solo smut as well as hard railing. Most of the jocks and muscle kings are from Masqulin, the goat, but the network also has a shitton of new faces. It’s amateur heaven here, but even so, it’s not like there aren’t dudes with some renown walking around like Kit Cohen, Markus Kage, and Sir Peter. These dudes are either Canadian or American, but if my dick is right (and it usually is), there are some Euro bros and non-white blokes on the block.

Rare shit, happy life, good porn, great fap

So lads, are you digging what I’m digging? Are you going to be good boys and nonbinaries and not get hooked like a fish on the most basic cross-sale tricks in the book? Well, are you? I’m seriously going to fuck your dad and mother together if I catch you slipping. But otherwise, the network is probably on the pricier side if I take into account that it doesn’t add so much stuff. It also likes to cheapen out with a recycled scene every month, so I need to throw rotten eggs at it for that. But the porn itself? No problems there, sir! Sure, I get that not everyone is going to be on the same vibe frequency, but I liked TheBroNetwork and its rare smut. Hopefully you found something you like! PornDude blasting off again!