BadPuppy

For some 27 long and wasteful years, you had BadPuppy to turn to when you needed a break from reality. They’ve been through a lot of shit, and if it’s guys you’re looking for, here’s something that I’ll call a “historic collection,” and then get decked by a steel folding chair over the head by some word purists out there. Sites this old meet some kind of grim fate along the way, as nothing can last forever and shit like that. I hate it here, but it is what it is, I guess. So, what fate befell BadPuppy? It sure as fuck didn’t fade away and leave scattered clips across mid-tier tube sites. It’s still around, still wants your money, and pumps porn out on the regular. Right? Well, let me scratch that scab.

I’m not going to be a dickhead and say that there are fates worse than being shut down, but then again, enshittyfication has me fuming and crying on Reddit every so often. In the case of BadPuppy, well, it got picked up by a company that owns some other gay sites like Southern Strokes and Daddy on Twink. Ok cool! This is now a network, yeah? Buddy, my hand is your shoulder. Yeah no, you only get some promos for the company-owned sites since the rest are paid shit. But ok, fair nuff, we take these and move forward. Can’t have everything for free in this house! From what I’m seeing, the suite is still going through transition pains, so maybe be gentle when you ram into it. Poor twink needs some aftercare, fuck.

I’ll pop off on what’s changing here and if we’re witnessing a twink death of a site or not. I gotta butter you up before we get there, so let me hit you up with some content! BadPuppy has a lot of solo jack-off sesh action among its older library. Sure, newer ones are hardcore duos, but the years have left their mark. Are you feeling retro like that? Feeling bonita, as some would say? The lads here are European, so expect to see lots of uncut beauties on display too! The fun thing is that Puppy’s long ass run means you get a rainbow of body types and guys to pick through. Your classic smooth twinks are hanging about, but don’t leave out hairy jocks and bodybuilders out of it!

The case of the video quality and count

Introductions aside, how does the content look when you fire it up? If I had to word it, it feels like a grandpa who still has the spunk in him, but you know he’s not in his prime. Sure, you grandpa boys would be down to suck on him, but some of us like tighter asses. I don’t think it’s a surprise when I say there are a lot of mid-quality clips in the collection. The good news is, it looks like they handle well on small screens. The bad news is, yeah, it’s not the sharpest porn about. The happy little accident here is not cum on the wall but the remastered vids that get airdropped to your door! Yeah boy, beef up that video size! You know you want to!

Almost everything is bigger on BadPuppy these days, but a horse cock is not always the optimal choice. Sure, some assholes have been training to fit big logs, but there’s only so much you can handle if you’re jacking up your cock. The remastered clips are bigger, stronger, and still somehow shitty. It feels like a sloppy job, honestly. Usually, you’d expect a remaster to clean up the fuzz and crease lines, but I’m seeing plenty of that with the vids that got the inflation treatment. Granted, the photos look better, but like, I’m not here for photos, man. I’ve been let down by porn sites a lot before, so this is not going to ruin my day or anything, but I still need to take a dump in some dank corner of the site and leave it there.

That’s the deets, but in practice, you get access to qualities ranging from Full HD to some SD stuff and ok clips that I guess I can let slide. Last I checked, I think there are 1660+ films on the site, and if Mr .PornDude is not going insane from dehydration, I think that means we’re like 400 movies shorter. I’ll pick a fight with that in a bit, don’cha worry my cuck. If you actually like photo sets, the highest pixel count you’ll get is 1068x1600. There are 2100+ sets to flip through (yeah it’s more than videos because films got yeeted). Zip files? Affirmative, and they also include some viewing tools, but that’s not much if you ask me. This is probably one of the more average cocks I’ve seen.

And for my last trick, let’s talk about the good old update schedule! So, I spy with my sharp porn eye 3 new videos per week! Ok that’s actually massive! Too good to be true, right? And yep, you’d be damn right. These weekly videos are just the films that got pulled out of the og collection. Some are remastered, but like I said, it’s a rush job. I don’t know if this means the site is on life support, but I’m pretty sure that not everything is a reupload. No, it’s kinda worse. Some of these films are coming from other sites on the web! So it’s not even all 100% original content. Just fuck me in the ass and leave. At least you get 90 bonus vids from promo channels (never mind that you lost the 1000+ bonus films before the buyout).

The tunes keep going and so do we

I remember when the companies changed my favorite chocolate’s ingredients to be cheaper. It felt just like this. I got used to it with time and guys who tried it for the first time found nothing off. So the merit in my story is that you don’t know what you lost if you never tried it. And I sure as fuck hope you weren’t on BadPuppy before the changes. Anyway, onto the prices! As usual, we have pre-selected sales on the billing page we need to handle. Good news is that you do get downloads, so plan accordingly. Cancel when you’re done to not bleed more money and yada yada yada. Recurring subs are a bitch. Well, BadPuppy does offer non-recurring subs, but they are too fucking expensive, so don’t bother.

We’re riding on the backs of Vendo and CCBill, lads! So, what are our options? If you hate money, go for the lifetime membership for $300. I’m sure you’ll have your reasons, but I don’t respect them. Lurking about for 30 days costs $29.95/month, which is standard shit at this point. The annual plan plays coy with $10/month, but that’s still $120/year. Ok, fine. The non-recurring 2-month access is $39.95/month. I don’t know if that's billed as $79.90 or what tho. Bitch doesn’t say! Now, from what I’m seeing, all of these plans include unlimited streaming and downloads. Don’t threaten my dick with the blender tho, I’m just pretty sure downloads are free game. I’m not responsible for any limits the site vomits up!

I have some mixed feelings here

I think that my butthurt feelings have been well stated here. With how watered down the collection is, I’m seriously considering printing the site logo and putting it in my special jar behind the heater pipe. I’m malding, but it’s not like I'm not looking out for your ass either. The films are not the best, and they are showing their age. Of course, grandpa fuckers will be down for this, so I want you to consider how much you’re down for stuff like this. Like, when I look at everything, it’s fine, maybe even good considering the age. You probably have some better options, but this is not the worst one you can make.

So yeah! I gotta admit the growing pains are really fucking hurting because everywhere I look I see him. But as a new member? Honestly, not bad. You get all kinds of dudes and even some porn stars in the mix! Uncut dicks always win in my book, so I can’t say no to a Euro production. And if you’re a porn historian? This is going to be decent. I’m honestly here more for the older solo action, but BadPuppy is hot for multiple reasons!