FabGuys

Fab Guys! This one’s for all my gay bros in the audience who are tired of being alone! Specifically, I’m here for the Brit boys who want to meet that special someone. Right off the bat, you’ll notice that this site also caters to bisexual men, but that’s more of a technicality. This is very much a dude on dude site. You know I’m a bit out of my element. Dude on dude sex is a bit of a mystery to me. I’m an outside observer. Still, I’m no stranger to dating sites, and this site has everything you need. It’s very retro and might turn some people off for that reason, but trust me and stick around.

Retro is sometimes better, especially when the mainstream approach has become a fucking joke. No shade on Tinder, but apps like that have watered down the dating experience so much that it’s fucking impossible to have any kind of meaningful interaction online. Keep in mind; I’m talking about dudes sucking off random dudes. Even that is too romantic for Tinder. We’ve gone too far. People swipe at each other with less attention than they give to Pokémon cards. We’ve gone way too far forward; we need to take a few steps back, especially when it comes to meaningful dating sites.

Retro Web Design is Cool

FabGuys is a prime location for quality dating interaction. You get all features we were used to in the 90s, but with bumped-up quality and a reliable 21st-century website. It’s the tried and tested formula of internet dating, revamped and re-released, with no real catch. I’ll try to find some cracks in the polish, but overall, this site delivers on its promises. It is indeed a dating site where you can find tons of gay dudes to date and suck off at your convenience. And to be clear, it’s not an escort site. You’re not paying for dudes here. Hell, you’re not paying for anything; the site is free. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Let’s start with the obvious, the retro tinge. The site straight up looks like it fell out of a 90s infomercial. There are no moving parts to it. Hell, there aren’t even any ads on the site. I’m not entirely sure how they intend to make money to keep the site afloat. Technically you can pay to support the site, but that’s more of a donation than it is a subscription. It costs five pounds, from what I can tell, and the payment is completely anonymous. You’ll also have to confirm the payment over text message, but your anonymity is guaranteed.

Free for Everyone

The site is some sort of brainchild of people who straight up care about strangers getting together. It’s a present, not a business. But there are ups and downs to this approach. First of all, the payment that you can make to bump you up to exclusive status does next to nothing for you on the actual site. They say that it removed ads, but I haven’t seen a single ad on FabGuys, and I signed up. Don’t try to find me on the site, by the way. I used a moniker. I’m trying to lay low.

So, premium status is irrelevant, everyone’s the same on the site, and everyone gets fair and equal treatment. Anonymity is guaranteed, and all the shit is properly encrypted, but there’s a bit of a problem there, as I’m sure you might have already guessed. The site doesn’t get involved in protecting the members. It also does nothing to facilitate meetings between you and your next main squeeze. You have to do all of that yourself. That means that you have to figure out ways to network on the internet. FabGuys is here to put you together with the men, but you have to figure it out on your own beyond that point.

Stay Safe on the Web

I don’t expect them to give an arm and a leg to protect my privacy; they’re already doing enough. I’m just saying it’s a free site that anyone has access to. That means that bad eggs are more than welcome on the site. They can slip through the cracks quite easily. Sure, if someone tries to do something inappropriate or illegal, they’ll most likely get banned, but it’s easy to fly under the radar.

If you’re a gay dude, you most likely know this already. The world is an unfair place, and the UK has had its share of homophobes causing trouble. I don’t understand how they have the energy to go out of their way to join gay dating sites, but it has happened before. That’s why you got to protect yourself and jump through hoops to set up get-togethers. I’m not saying that you’re going to get jumped by gay-bashers if you use FabGuys; really, the danger is the same no matter what website you’re on.

That’s why FabGuys points out that your safety is entirely in your own hands. They have some hints and tips here that are crucial to staying safe online, but they’re all no-brainers, like, don’t give out your personal information to strangers on the internet. You should already know that telling random strangers on the internet where you live isn’t precisely a strategically sound move.

Jump into the Dating World

All right, let’s put safety aside now; we addressed it enough. Let’s look at the fun parts of the site, the actual dudes. There are tons of them. I’ll admit I didn’t expect this site to be rife with dudes, especially since the site uses half of your zip code to give you nearby suggestions. Don’t worry; your actual location doesn’t get outed. They don’t even ask you where you are. You only have the option to enter half your zip code and see all the roughly close-by dudes on the site.

I like this approach because you don’t have to swipe or bend over backward, hoping someone will swipe you. There’s none of that noise. You’re free to browse the profiles, both near you and in general. There’s no holds barred dating on this site. When I first put in my zip code and entered the site, I saw a ton of people, and I intentionally went with a code that was far from London. London’s likely to have a ton of people on the web; that’s to be expected. But, apparently, you can get laid anywhere in the UK with FabGuys. That’s damn impressive.

So, you’ve got the long list of dudes along with pictures that they’ve decided to share, and you can dive right into some e-dating action from the get-go. You don’t even have to confirm your e-mail, for fuck’s sake. That’s how streamlined FabGuys is. You jump in and see dudes. That’s precisely what you’d like, I’d assume.

So Many Types of Dudes

As for what type of dudes you can find on the site, well, it’s a huge mixed bag. There’s something for everyone and a ton of niche dudes that I honestly wasn’t expecting to find on the site. I’d divide the dudes on FabGuys into three distinct categories. First up, there are standard gay dudes who post pictures of the front of their bodies, abs and all. Some of them are chubby daddies, but I consider all of this to be one overarching category because the other types of dudes on this site are so far removed from what I expected to see.

The next category is the twinks, and boy, do they go hard down that stereotype. They pose in stereotypically female poses and really go out of their way to look like girls. Now, I don’t know how the gay sex drive works, but if it’s anything like mine, well, I don’t get this. I like girls, right, so I wouldn’t like girls that try to look like dudes. I want girls that look like girls. I don’t know why these guys are pushing the whole female sex appeal. They are clean-shaven, all over their bodies with these submissive bent-over poses that make them look like, well, chicks. I don’t know; maybe I’m out of my element.

The last category of dudes on this site is crossdressers and transgender women, who are categorically not dudes. I don’t understand why they’re on this site. I mean, the crossdressers make sense, to some degree. A dude in a dress is still a dude. But, the transgender chicks are chicks. They’re my flavor of pussy. Some of them even have pussies. I don’t think gay dudes are into that type of thing. Either way, they’re here, and the site is loaded with options because of it.

I like FabGuys. I like the site, I love the simplicity, and I can safely say it’s a worthwhile online dating experience.