MassiveGayPass

Let’s clear up the block for some of the more recently vintage films! I'm, of course, talking about the 1980s and 1990s! Hell, even the 2000s were over twenty years ago, and I’m not getting any younger since then. What makes or breaks a gay porno from those times? Well, I could write a whole fucking blog on that, but this is a review, so I need to be slightly more tactful about how I pad my text blocks. All I can say is that MassiveGayPass is full to the fucking brim with oldie movies! On one hand, fuck that, huge downside and crusty ass porn. On the other hand, vintage shit, fuck yeah! I know the kind of fucks who love this shit, but even the normies might have a blast.

MassiveGay is a network with a smug face that boasts about its oldie library. Tough shit, I’ve seen this around. What probably makes it stand out from the copy-paste porn slop is the fact that it has 36 channels to dig through. Yep, old gay porn channels, and let me not even go into the themes those ancient years allowed to be explored. If modern porn is pretty and straightforward, vintage smut is straightforward and sometimes deranged. Even the porn actors aren’t the same because, guess what fuck face, beauty standards and fashion change with time. Suffering a boner whenever you see a guy with a 90s stache? Yeah, you only have a few places where you can rub one out to a face like that. MassiveGay is grinning right about fuck now.

But ok, enough about the vintage upsell glaze, PornDude. What about those channels? Which ones are actually on offer? Well my dear lesser gooner, the channels aren’t anything too complex. Sure, they offer stories like half the time, but look at the names like Bareback Vids, Anal Discipline, Gay XXX Orgy, and Asian Boy Toys, and you tell me how profound these smut clips are gonna be. I’m not saying it’s a downside, but the sex tends to be more on the money. Sure, you get to enjoy an oral service with some kind of prelude, but don’t expect it to always land. But I gotta admit, the selection of guys is superb. There is a ton of variety to work with! I need to kiss a smooth cock when it’s good, ok?!

You get dedicated ethnicity channels

In case the Asian Boy Toys didn’t give it away, I’ll draw it on the fucking board. MassiveGay has multiple channels that are all about certain types of guys. Course, Asians come in packed, but I also really liked their Latino selection. Sites like Latino Cock Stars really tickle my pickle. How often do you find vintage porn with Latin men in the play? Fuck racism, man. And please, let the black studs fuck me because they are also here! Black Stud Vids will be just one of the fap platters you can pick when you start looking for ebony guys! As for you straight baiters, you also have your choice of “straight” men sucking cock. I found Broke and Horny, but there might be more around. So yeah! You got all your bases covered, except maybe trans men.

Let me talk about the video count and some other features

I hope you managed to uncork a new bottle of lube because you’re gonna need all the help you can get here. MassiveGay has a shitton of films! My lousy brain counted 5290 in action, and you might be rocking in on even more shit. I know that the 1% of you is actually smart, so I’ll be stating the fucking obvious because most of these films are in 480p and you just need to live with that or cry in bed. Hell, there is also a huge amount of 360p shit, so you really need to rehab yourself from Full HD. Don’t like it? Well, maybe you can upscale shit on your own, but otherwise just piss off! This is vintage, and we all suffer the shitass vid qualities like real men!

If you were looking for any vintage pics, you’re one lucky nolifer! Each film comes with a set, and the cellar also has some 1290+ sets that have no videos attached. As for the context, it’s a mix of screen caps and some decent digital art. It all comes out as pretty good! Course, quality and size of these pics are not going to be godly. But as far as their time goes, yeah, these grannies are holding up better than most! You can kick off the show with a slideshow or just grab each photo individually. If you want to bag it all, the zip file download is going to whisper something sexy in your ear. For a site that’s like 30 years behind in porn, MassiveGayPass handles pics decently well!

I donno about you, but I’m feeling hot and hard about now! This all sounds cum-tastic! So, how are the updates? Wow! You get 12 new videos every month! Hold your horses, you horndog! This is all nice and well, but the big catch is chilling behind the scenes. Yeah, you get 12 vids a month, but this shit is recycled! The flow goes like this: get new vids, phase out older vids, add those vids with a new date. My friends and biggest haters, MassiveGayPass is no longer adding new content. RIP and mald, your contributions will be missed. At the very least we get to enjoy the existing library for what it is, but this is not gonna be a comfy home, my lads. But there is a saving grace to be had!

Here is what the prices include and what you can pull off

Load up your knowledge about Epoch and SegPay because they’re listed as your sales agents here! You’ll be doing sword fights against the recurring subscriptions through them, so really, move your lazy fat thumbs and read how to wiggle out of it! Selecting your subs on the sign-up page is kinda shit and pretty dinky, so squint a bit before you hop in. But that said, downloads are online, fuck yeah! They be shining like the North Star over this vintage bounty, so use it to the maximum and dip out. Oh and, put on your heat visor because I saw like two pre-selected sales on the billing page. Call in the sales exterminator because these bitches need to go down! Yeah, they bait you with “bonus” sites. The fuck you mean? It’s a separate site!

The shitty 3-day trial is an absolute scam. No downloads, costs $1.95, and only lets you see the supposed best 12 scenes from the site. Cmon! At least lick me before you fuck me over like that. This fuck then rebills for like $24.95/month. This is also, some-fucking-how, the only way to get the regular monthly access.

Things get a tad better with the 90-day access. This stuff is consistently billed for $49.95 every 90 days, and it’s a damn full access, so I have no complaints there. Except maybe that it’s not cheap, but whatever. It’s mid, it’s fine. Moving on!

The last offer I saw was the annual deal, which was also their supposed “best offer.” Sure, this thing costs $8.30/month and gouges out $99.45/year out of your wallet. I don’t know why there was no regular monthly option, but blokes probably just took the vids and dipped, so this is how the site earns its keep.

Once your buttcheeks are in the paid access area, you’re not done with the bullshit. Ads, man, so many goddamn ads. Some you can block with your plug-ins, while others are built into the damn site’s code. You land in a sea of ads and need to fish out the membership access link. I know this is all because the site is pretty much decaying and needs to suck up the last penny, but it really kills the vibe.

I don’t like being disrespected but I also have little self-respect

If you hate dealing with ads and hidden sales bullshit, yeah, feel free to pass. I’m not sure how long MassiveGayPass will be sticking around, so if you have any plans to download its porn, you better start acting now before things get worse for wear. And like, I really dig its vintage smut, so I’m not chill enough to watch it get washed away. Guess that’s just what happens with porn sites. As far as you are concerned, this is a solid mid out of godly.