Cadinot

Let me tell you a short story about Jean-Daniel Cadinot, the absolute legend of French vintage porn. He left us to deal with the modern studios and their endless pump and dump of new faces in porn, and he hasn’t been back since that fateful day in 2008. May dirt be easy on him, amen. Cadinot is a guy from his time and I mean that in a good way. He was making the kind of cinematic porn that was more interested in telling stories and feeling as real as it can get. Hell, he liked to use encounters from real life when making his videos. You’re never going to come anywhere near his talent in all of your life, but hey, that just means you can appreciate Cadinot for his skill.

So, what made Cadinot’s fap material different from the rest? What’s the deal? He typically went for the kind of guys who you could imagine shagging. Yanno, pretty, a bit sporty, you might have a chance with him if you actually watched your hygiene. And then he took these believable men and showed them in stories that feel more believable than whatever reality porn is cooking up these days. He had army guys being fucking rough with prisoners of war, rich guys on a yacht going Sodom on each other, and he always paired it with intimate and dirty sex. The blokes already had hairs, and now they were grunting when it felt good! Dirty and hot vintage gay sex. There's my keyword for Google to fish out my thing. Absolute cinema.

All of this adds up to something that feels genuinely unique, and the fact he was working with Frenchies (plus Arabs, actually) is bonus points for all of my Euro and uncut dick fans. Sadly, God didn’t want us to have fun, so there are only so many videos around made by him. The Cadinot site is where they’re all chilling at the moment, and hey, they aren’t alone, but I’ll talk about the bonuses when I get to it. Your pretty little empty head only needs to know that there is a big network waiting to shack up. But with how fucking fun Cadinot vids are, you are probably gonna be watching every clip before you start going around for the rest. Now that that’s over, let me hit the stats!

Here is how the “theatre” looks about now

The content is rotating, and sometimes you lose older films, but don’t worry, they come back eventually. There’s literally nothing to be angry about here, like, the guy is in heaven (probably)! It really comes down to how much of his shit is in one place. And well, I went and took a deep sniff of the underwear, and it's feeling like 69 (nice) DVDs in the library! When you crack them into individual scenes, you are coming to about 546 films to watch. My brain is online right now, so I think maybe it’s smarter to watch his stuff as one big film rather than bits? Just because Cadinot liked his stories. Then again, this shit has no subtitles. I mean, French is big in Quebec and Africa, so statistically at least one of you will groove!

Languages aside, do you know what really sucks? When good ideas outrun the progress of tech. Cadinot clips can’t be HD if they were made before fucking HD was a thing. I am physically hurting over that, but my cock is at least happy to report that the clips are very much enjoyable. Gotta admit, the place has done a great job of transferring the clips to digital. My condom’s off to whoever worked on that. Someone also worked on nabbing screencaps to jam into the photo galleries. There’s not much of it, but it’s a neat touch I can’t bring myself to take a piss out of. Wait no, I can! No zip files and you can’t click on the pics!

The extras are coming right about now

As far as the network lineage goes, this one likes to dress up its channels as “theatres,” and it seems to be decently French porn. I say this cause FrenchPorn is the absolute bomb of content and really makes me wish I wasn’t drawing graffiti on the table during my French classes. When all theatres combine, there are some 38 of them in action, so it’s pretty fun. The network adds some 20 or so videos every week, maybe more if the season is good. If you saw any ads before signing in, it’s all talking about this babey! The collection brings you 31000+ pornos to drown in, and the number is growing, so you better find your favorite lotion and prepare your hydration stations in advance!

I really want to add these films to my homework folder, PornDude!

Me too, buddy, but there are some catches here. It’s not like downloads are banned on the whole fucking site. No, there are plenty of theatres that allow you to nab your stuff if you pay a bit extra. The same’s not the case for Cadinot. Let me pat you on the head cause you’re actually late to the fucking party. See, you used to be able to nab DVDs from here, but the network changed its stance on that. Womp womp. Sucks to be you. Maybe another site will have what you need, so don’t give up just yet, young gooner. For now, maybe you’ll dig the streaming-only access that covers the whole network. If not, well, I’m pretty sure I saw ticket packs you can use on the whole network.

Time to be hitting the price points

Step one: enter your email and make an account. Step two: agree to the boxes so that you can gain access to the site. From here, we’re going to be squinting through the prices. Tickets work as one per video, and you got some packs. The cheapest is $3 for 5 TKTs (that’s $0.60 per each), and the most expensive option is $30 for 100 of those (or $0.30 per item). The mid option is $10 for 20 ($0.50). Go big or go small or go the fuck home, fuckboy! Tickets will help you download films that have the option, so that’s neat! Usual prices for a vid are 1-10 TKTs, so do with that what you will. Doesn’t sound bad and no rebills!

Now, the big boy here is the streaming sub. This lets you watch any fucking clip on the site without eating up your TKTs. No downloads, so if you want to save only the best of the best in your “homework” folder, this is how you do it. The price is not the cheapest, going for $39.99/month, and it has no siblings to play with. Granted, with how many movies the network is boasting, that’s pretty much just $0.0013 per clip. New shit keeps coming, so it’s all the kind of thing that depends on how much spare cash you have at the end of the month for this luxury. This is gonna rebill until you cancel, and you can choose to go with Epoch, PayPal, or just your regular ass cards.

I was feeling especially useful today, so I decided to check out every payment option just to see if there were any extra bits of moldy cum in the corners. And you know what? There was nothing. No shitty hidden fees or a higher rebill. It’s literally just “give us money, and we get you porn, oh, and also we won’t bill you with PORN written on the text.” Add a thumbs up to the end of that text. I’m not used to this. I’m really not used to this. I was expecting to be degraded, but this shit is clean. Not even ads! Fellas, there might be a god who loves us after all.

I wish Cadinot didn’t leave us so soon but this is also great

I know that the main selling point of vintage porn is how different it is to everything we got today, but Cadinot has that shit locked in. Hell, you can read his wiki page if you want to learn more about him. But if you want to see his art alive and well, this Cadinot theatre thing will have his movies ready for viewing. Too bad you can’t save shit, but at least the rest of the network will help you fill that void with more fresh cum. It’s a pretty great experience, and I like it when a site doesn’t fuck with me!