Gay bondage is the best way to warm up on a cold night. Strap your boy down, oil him up, and have your way with him until you’re spent, and he’s left begging for more. I don’t know much about love, but I know everything about porn, and I can tell you right now that if you’re not looking at some bondage porn right fucking now, then you’re missing out. And you don’t want to miss out any more than you already are, do you?
I know most of you have no chance of getting a date anytime soon, much less a shot at getting invited to a sex dungeon. So your only remaining option (at least until you get a gym membership and start showering regularly) is to look at gay bondage online. But that’s not easy either, because while most of the internet is porn, most of the internet is also awful. But that’s okay, because now you’ve got me to take you down the yellow brick road (just don’t ask why it’s yellow) and show you the end of the rainbow.
YouPorn, weporn, thousands of hours of gay porn
YouPorn is a fancy, clean website that clearly wants to keep up with the big dogs. But there’s absolutely nothing fancy or clean about the videos you’ll run into: there’s tons of rough fucks and tortured twinks to find as soon as you start scrolling. There’s plenty of horny boys tied down to their beds and getting manhandled like a ball of dough at a gay kitchen, and there’s no short supply of burly bucks getting dicked with their hands tied behind their backs.
There’s also more extreme stuff for those of us that don’t fuck around; Sensory deprivation, dick pumps and enemas, and fully immobilized buttfucks are right there up front. If your fantasy is getting tied up with a magic wand on your dick and not getting let go until you cum at least thrice, good news, in the first two minutes of looking, I’ve already seen three guys living out your dream for you.
I hope you love twinks and stickboys, because a majority of videos here include at least one such curvy cum-collector. There’s no shortage of nice girly holes getting abused, both solo and with help. There’s hundreds of cuties just begging you to watch as they give up their freedom in exchange for some good hard cock. The sheer amount of girly-boys might make you start wondering if you were straight all along, at least until you get your hairy hole poked again and reminded of why you like boys more.
But just because there’s a lot of femme fucking going on, that doesn’t mean that those who love beefy man-love are going to be disappointed. Muscular hunks are railed right next to big fat fuckers, in the gayest possible win for representation. You don’t have to worry about whether you’ll see both at the same time, either, because even the chubbiest, hairiest manwhores have found love here, especially from the back. Have no worries about whether you’ll find the right kind of guy for you, because the only kind of guy you’ll not be able to find is someone who will say yes to your advances.
Most videos are horizontal, just like their stars
One important detail is that most of the videos on Youporn are in a vertical orientation - or to dumb it down for you meatheads, most of the videos are for phone screens, not computer screens. I know this doesn’t change that much for most of you, since you’re either already yanking it to a tiny screen, or are too focused on the porn to even notice what the video’s orientation is; but for those who have a modicum of self-control, it can still matter a lot. It sucks when most of my screen is filled with black bars, so I really fucking wish that the vertical videos were tagged. Unlucky for me, however, their thumbnails look exactly the same as regular ones do, so get ready to guess.
Shitty tagging aside, though, there’s some pretty cool features here. For the nerds among you who prefer reading, Youporn has a huge selection of free written Erotica as well. I’m normally too busy writing my own dirty talk here, so I don’t have much time to sit down and read what the horny dorks are getting up to, but I quickly glanced over some of the gay bondage stories, and they look exactly like the kind of thing that some of you would enjoy – needy bitches begging to be used by a dominant alpha, and endless descriptions of wet holes and throbbing cocks. If that sounds like you’d like it, feel free to check it out; personally, I’m too busy having a social life to care.
And for the clowns among you who have more money than common fucking sense, you can also enjoy YouPorn’s VR support. The selection is kinda slim, especially for gay bondage, but you can still find some videos to enjoy. Of course, then you have to deal with the fact that the “VR” tag doesn’t just mean videos made for VR; it also means 3d animated porn made in VRChat (whatever the fuck that is), and one of my new favorite porn comedy categories, which is “Dudes wearing VR headsets and pretending they see someone else while they jerk each other off”. Here’s a pro-tip for all you goggle-loving losers: If you combine “VR” with “POV”, you’ll mostly get just the ones you want.
Gay bondage, or just gay porn?
YouPorn tells us that it has the biggest selection of gay bondage online, and that might be true, but I can’t really tell. There’s many pages of videos, but I don’t see a total anywhere, and I can only advance three pages at a time. Jerking off is already giving me carpal tunnel syndrome, and I’ve got too many porn sites to review, so I’m not gonna spend time and bone marrow on clicking through to the end of this list. So maybe they’re fucking liars and their collection is smaller than someone else’s, but I don’t give enough of a shit to find out or get mad about it.
What I DO give a shit about and WILL get mad about, however, is the simple fact that half of these videos are in no way fucking bondage. And that’s not me pretending I know what “real” bondage is, that’s me looking at videos that are literally a completely nude dude getting a handjob in a bed and wondering if I’ve gone insane. He doesn’t even have a fucking blindfold or handcuffs on! And there’s so many others just like that.
I’ve been around the block, and this is nothing new, folks; gay videos and niche content are usually not as well maintained or tagged as straight stuff is, which is fucking bullshit, but it’s bullshit you can learn to live with. But this is absolutely one of the worst cases I’ve seen in my life, and I feel like these dumb fucks don’t understand that “gay porn” and “gay bondage” are not the same thing. The only reason that this review is still mostly positive is that YouPorn did everything else right, but I had to spend a lot of time getting over this part.
Actually, there’s one other thing that calmed me down, and will probably make the rest of you very happy: there’s almost no ads on this goddamned thing! The single ad spot I’ve run into is right below the video player, where there’s a single banner ad so small it’s easier to miss than your sister’s clit. That’s it, though – no banner ads, no popups, no redirects (except for the obvious chatroom ones), and not even any of those fucking ads in the video player. It’s been so long since I’ve felt so free of ads that I can forgive almost any sin, even the bullshit tagging from above.
YouPorn? You bet!
I’m not perfectly happy with YouPorn; it has some problems with the search, and the bad categorization system really pissed me off; but even with those problems, it’s still a great fucking site.
You can find all types of gay bondage, and tons of excellent quality videos that go into every category and subcategory of BDSM you could be interested in.If you care about VR support or written erotica, then there’s even more for you to enjoy here. Those things might not be as well developed as they are in other places, but you can still get all the fucking you could ever want – if it’s even possible for you to be satisfied, you disgusting animal.
