Sometimes, I wonder: who was the first guy to ever realize he was into gay bondage? It’s not the kind of thing you’d normally fucking think about, right? I wonder if it was a medieval torturer who noticed that some of his “clients” were cumming while being worked over, and decided to make it into a side gig. I guess that this is one of those questions like “Who was the first person who got the idea to milk a cow?”, where it’s probably fucking better that we never find out. And, just like cow milk today, gay bondage porn is easier to find online than it’s ever been. Now you just need someone experienced, witty and handsome enough to tell you which ones are worth a shit.
Finding gay bondage online is pretty easy, but finding gay bondage that doesn’t suck is much harder. But you’ll have a much better time if you stick around, because I’ve seen more porn sites than stars in the sky, and I can help you find the sites that are worth an evening of choking your meat to. Today, NudeVista.com is on the chopping block, so let’s dive right in and see if the hike to this vista is worth it.
Thousands of gay bondage videos, but it’s not easy on the eyes
When you first visit NudeVista, you might think that you just suffered a stroke, went back in time, or both. The entire website looks like it’s a weird carbon copy of Google.com from 2003, complete with related searches, categories for images and models, and everything down to the fucking search bar. The only thing that’s missing here is the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button; and I imagine they’re keeping that one for themselves, because they have to be extremely fucking lucky to not have been sued by Google yet.
There are over 45,000 videos in the gay bondage category here, which is a very respectable amount. You are also offered some related categories, such as Gay CBT, Gay Slaves, and so on. I appreciate seeing the options, because it means the site at least partially understands what you’re here for and what you want. I just wish the site itself was a little easier to look at, because I’m not trying to be funny with my “Google from two decades ago” comparison – it really is fucking hard to look at. I really don’t care that much about visual design, and normally I’d leave it at a joke about the site looking like shit and moving on, but this one actually hurts my fucking eyes to navigate, with its bright white background and tiny text. The phone version of the site looks a little better though, upgrading aesthetically from 2004 Google to 2010 Bing – if you can call that a fucking upgrade, anyway.
When you actually get to the porn, however, things start to look up. Not only is there a lot of stuff to see, but there’s also a ton of variety and kinky shit to catch your eye. You’ve got hunks, bears and twinks of all forms, all giving up their freedom in exchange for some good fucking cock. From casual bedroom bondage to full-on gimp suits and torture racks, there’s something for everyone. There’s even something for fucking straight people who don’t like gay bondage, because every page has a handful of sponsored premium videos, and they’re always the same handful of white sluts getting railed in knee-high socks; but at least they’re marked and they’re easy to ignore, so fucking whatever.
I noticed something else, however, and it’s that it’s not just the website that’s ugly – half the dudes in the videos are fucking dogs, too. And yes, I know I’m being a dick, and I know that beauty is subjective, and all that other bullshit; but that doesn’t change that most of these guys look like sailors who have had a hard life, not sexy boys who eat well, work out and have big girly buttcheeks. There’s a lot of old guys and fat guys, too, but that’s not what I’m talking about – I mean dudes with weird proportions, dudes with massive ears, dudes with unibrows, dudes with steroid abuse muscles, and generally a large concentration of dudes who look like they’ve had a hard life. Now I think ugly guys deserve sex too, but some pussies might have a problem dealing with imperfect people in their videos, so if you’re one of those pussies, get ready to see some real fucking life.
A great selection of videos, and the shitty experience of picking one
Now, I want to stress that you can really find all sorts of great videos to watch here. Whether you’re a fan of seeing crossdressers getting fingered and slapped at the same time, or you’re really into medical-themed bondage, or whether you just like to see some nice boys get together and restrain each other’s wrists while they fuck each other in the ass, then you’ve got some great picks here. And you can also choose how committed you want to be, with a massive supply of both short-and-sweet clips and amateur sex tapes, and full-length professional movies that go over an hour.
But unfortunately, it’s never as easy as it could be. For reasons beyond me, NudeVista doesn’t show you titles of the videos you’re clicking on half the time, instead only showing you a list of tags that the video has. So if you’re hoping to find the porn you want, you’re going to have to use your fucking detective skills as well. And a lot of the time, even that might not be enough, because even the tags can be fucking wrong – in fact, I’ve run into a couple of videos here that absolutely did not feature any bondage. At least 2004 Google gave me the fucking videos I fucking asked it for!
For an example of this clarity problem, I put on my detective hat for one video I saw: it had a thumbnail of two athletic Asian boys, ass-naked except for their headgear, facing off in a little wrestling ring, flashing boyhole at the camera. Okay, seems like an obvious set-up, right? The first few minutes are gonna be play wrestling, before they eventually tie one another down and start boning; maybe the coach gets involved, maybe some unexpected toys appear, who knows, it’s a 30 minute video. So then I watched it... and then sat there confused as hell, having just watched 30 minutes of naked Asians doing Olympic wrestling, with absolutely nothing sexual going on. I guess I can understand what part of this someone would jerk off to, but I have to ask the question – where was my fucking Gay Bondage!?
Most videos aren’t going to be that confusing, though, and usually it’s pretty easy to tell who’s gonna be fucking whom. However, all the videos suffer from a similar problem, which is being hosted on secondary sites that suck; so you can look forward to pop-up ads, obnoxious banners that obscure the video you’re watching, and everyone’s favorite: the fake video that turns into an ad, and then shows you the actual fucking video page. At least fucking NudeVista itself doesn’t have any goddamn ads on it, other than the shitty promoted videos.
A wortwhile site, with some annoying issues
While it has some serious fucking problems, I think Nudevista is a pretty good destination for gay bondage porn. Their porn library is a good size, and the video quality is pretty high on average, even if the website (and many of its porn stars) doesn’t live up to today’s expectations of beauty. And you also have to put up with all the annoying parts that come with an aggregator site, which means going to a bunch of different websites with tons of ads, shitty video players, and awful load times.
But if you can put up with the parts that suck, then NudeVista rewards you with good search tools, and more importantly, a truly great collection. It’s not a perfect site by any fucking stretch, and I might not necessarily pick it as my first choice for gay bondage, but it is absolutely worth your time, even if it will occasionally just confuse you with a completely unrelated video of some weird bullshit; and frankly, maybe you’d benefit a little more from seeing things you don’t expect to see. Who knows, maybe it’ll lead you to become the world’s second biggest fan of naked Asian twink wrestling. If you’re wondering, the number one fan is me.
