Gay bondage is a wonderful thing that two (or more) people can do to each other. There’s so many different toys, tools and positions to express your love with, it makes regular straight sex look like a bedtime prayer by comparison. But it’s not easy to find someone who’s willing to commit to something so serious, and you and I both know that you’re going to have to do a lot of work on yourself before you have any kind of shot with another guy. So while we’re waiting for those (definitely real) gains from the gym to start showing, why don’t you take the next best thing and enjoy some porn online?
TWPornstars.com is a website made to help you find porn pics and videos from specific porn stars. There are more names and gaped assholes here than there are stars in the sky, and if you’re someone who likes to follow specific creators, then this site might be what you’re looking for. But today, instead of scrolling through endless asian chicks with fat asses, we’re here to see what their selection of gay bondage is like, and whether it’s worth your time. Or, at the very least, to see just how much I wasted my own fucking time.
My first impression doesn’t have me seeing stars
The first thing I have to tell you about TWPornstars is that it has what some people would call a very simple aesthetic. Other people, like me, would say that it looks like crap. A plain white background and a shitload of tiny little hyperlinks everywhere don’t make me feel like I’m about to look at some good porn, it makes me feel like I’m about to get help with my fucking taxes. It hurts my fucking eyes just to look at it, and in the world of porn sites, that’s saying something.
Now, let’s actually look at the porn. If the tagging system here is to be believed, there are 6 pages of gay bondage on this website. I can’t actually tell you how many that is, because pages seem to have a random amount of links on them, and they’re all of different sizes. This is called a “Mosaic” interface, and it’s something that can look nice in theory; in practice it looks like the website is fucking broken, because each thumbnail is surrounded by white boxes of random size, filled with text that might be a title, tags, or just gibberish. I was not kidding when I said that it hurts to look at this shit.
Because of the godawful layout, I can’t say with confidence just how many entries there are here, but if I had to make an estimate, I’d say it’s no more than 300. That’s a goddamn pathetic amount, and it goes from pathetic to tragic when you consider that about half of that is single images rather than videos. There’s more gay bondage porn on the Facebook front page than there is on this fucking thing. But wait, it’s worse, because half the fucking videos are just broken; if you optimistically click on one of the videos where the thumbnail doesn’t work, it takes you to a video embed that never loads. Congratulations, you just wasted a click and have to go back. Are you having fun jerking off yet?
And just when you’re already feeling like your mind and body are being damaged by how shit this site is, TWPornstars spits right into your fucking face by revealing how much it hates you: It’s the kind of website where, when you click on literally anything, it will instead open up a popup. This happens every time you load a new page, including the broken ones, and it even happens if you try to be smart and use keyboard shortcuts, so it’s officially the single thing on this site that actually works as designed with no flaws. It’s a really fucking brave decision to add something so fucking annoying to a website that’s already barely working; I would almost be impressed if I wasn’t so fucking mad that I’m starting to see red.
Is any of this shit even gay bondage?
So the website is an ugly, broken mess, big whoop, that’s pretty much normal for porn sites these days. The thing that really matters is their porn collection, and brother, they somehow made that even worse than the site itself. After spending entirely too much of my precious life trying to get past all the motherfucking ads, security checks and broken links, I have seen literally all that the site has to offer in terms of gay bondage. It took me about 30 minutes.
The pictures that are here really aren’t anything special. You’ve got dudes jacking off, you’ve got dudes kissing, and you’ve got dudes posing for you. Most of the pictures are of amateur quality, and most of them really aren’t doing anything especially interesting in terms of position, costume, or anything else – they’re boring, is my point. The most common thing you’ll see is some mediocre daddy striking a pose like he’s gonna be in a magazine, showing you his cheeseboard abs and looking at you like he expects something from you.
Actually, that’s the most unique thing about the pictures on this website. Almost every solo photo has the porn star looking directly at the camera with a haunting expression, like getting photographed in cheap handcuffs was the last thing that happened before he got kidnapped by a monster from a horror movie. None of these fuckers look like they’re horny or excited, every one of them looks like they’re either in agony or staring directly into my fucking soul.
The videos aren’t any better, with basically all of them being fairly standard stuff: tied -up guy squirming around in his rope restraints, two-tied up guys squirming in their bondage together, and occasionally, some actual sex. Most of the videos are shorter than 20 seconds, with the longest epic saga being a whopping two minutes. You could put a frozen pizza in your microwave, sit down to watch every single gay bondage video on TwPornstars, and you would see all of them before the microwave dings. Frankly, I’d rather be in the fucking microwave too.
There are two very interesting things about the images and videos here, however. First, a lot of these gay bondage videos don’t actually have any bondage in them. Less than half of the videos actually feature anything that even resembles a belt, chain, blindfold, chastity belt, or even a fucking Chinese finger trap. Instead, a lot of the videos are just some guy’s massive cock, or a twink’s asshole getting rammed, or many other things that are just regular gay porn. What else is there to fuck up at this point?
The second interesting thing is that a lot of the men in this gay bondage porn are actually women. And no, I’m not talking about them being trans, although there’s a fair amount of them in here too for some fucking reason. About a quarter of the shit here actually features girls, either by themselves or getting fucked by a guy (just in case you were hoping the girls were gay at least). And only some of the women are doing anything related to bondage, as well. Amazing, just fucking amazing.
A complete waste of my fucking time
So, let’s sum up. The website is ugly as sin, many thumbnails are broken, it has some of the most offensive pop up ads I’ve ever seen, and there’s tons of dead links. Of the gay bondage porn, the selection is tiny, the quality is garbage, and of the shit that’s here, only about half of it is actually gay and actually bondage. If there’s anything that I forgot to mention, it’s only because my brain is trying to protect me from having a stroke by blocking any memories I have of this piece of shit.
Should you visit TWPornStars? Well, if you’re still asking me that, it can only mean that you have not read a single word I’ve written this far, so fuck you for not respecting the effort I put in here. But no, you should absolutely not go to TWPornStars, at least not if you’re looking for gay bondage that’s worth a shit. Maybe the website is less awful if you’re into vanilla porn, you have some specific bimbos or himbos that you like and want to see more of, and you just want to scroll through their galleries on the site. And if that’s you, then maybe you’ll find something to like, but I cannot fucking imagine why you’re reading this review.
