Foot fetish day
I’m pretty sure there’s an official foot fetish day. Yep, I checked, it’s on May 29th. There’s a day for everything these days. It’s not the sacred foot holiday at the moment but it might as well be. I was mindlessly jerking it to Twitter OnlyFans chicks and for some reason it was full of feet. Icegay.tv French is also full of feet. I don’t know where they’ve been hiding all my life. Not the fruity Frenchmen, they’re everywhere. I mean the fruity Frenchmen who like to stick toes in each other's mouths. I haven’t seen this kind of content so out and proud on other gay sites with French dudes present.
You know the old saying, we don’t kink shame. There’s no point when it comes to feet anyway anymore. Everyone is proudly into them. I told ya, Twitter is now full of feet. And no, it’s not my algorithm you fucks. The feet videos have a shit ton of likes and gooners commenting too. It’s an epidemic. I see a naked French twink party of three right now and feet are flying everywhere. In mouths, on cocks, in assholes. Toes licked and sucked in ecstasy. I don’t get it but you do you boo. Feet smell like chips and bread. Some of them have bunions on them. On the other hand, I’ve got boobies and vaginas to play with. I can see how not having boobies and vaginas to play with can make the foot more alluring to some.
At least clean them before feeding them to someone. The dudes on Icegay.tv sure did. There’s nothing gross going on here. Just some French gays making love and sucking toes. Clean toes. I can’t reiterate this enough. Do you know where feet go? You never know whose asshole they’ve been in last. That can also be said for cocks. But you don’t put your cock in a shoe after you’re done. Or maybe you do. Let me know so I can share it with the rest of the class about your freaky ways.
Pissing me off
I have to break my feet flow here to rant for a second. This site has great content, so it’s sad that it has a not so great user experience. Hearing a dude’s wish for his bum buddy to have an anal prolapse was not on my bingo cards today. But do you think I had much of a choice? Well, usually yes. Not this time because the volume button is fucking tweaking. It has a will of its own. Not only that but it changes sides with different videos. I got used to battling it on the left side. Then it teleports on me and I have to look for it again while everything is at full volume.
Horrors beyond my comprehension play loudly while I flirt with the volume button. It can either be fully muted or louder than your mom last night. It’s my own fault for having ears, I guess. I’m aware I can lower the master volume but is that the point? I want the comfort of a functioning volume button on my gay site, thank you very much. A volume button should not be bratty. I feel like I’m trying to charm it down into submission. And then there’s the infinite scroll.
Unlike other sites that have, oh, I don’t know, pages? Icegay.tv have cursed you me and Mr. McGee to an endless scrolling sabbatical. I can’t possibly know how much content there is if everything is on one goddamn page. I enjoy going to the next page on a porn site. I like the extra dopamine hit of not knowing what hides behind the unopened door. Nah bro, just write French at the top and leave your audiences naked, afraid and alone scrolling until they die. It’s lazy. I’m no nerd web developer, but how hard can it be? Yo, Icegay.tv, get a nerd on this. A gay one, pay him in feet. I don’t care, fix it. There’s also this annoying new tab shit. I don’t want a fresh new gay French tab with every video I click on.
Groups of men
It’s like there’s no middle ground with the French. On some sites it’s basically just kissing and loving and hugging. On this site it’s threesome after foursome after orgy. I’m not even complaining. It’s a lot more interesting than whatever the lovers and cuddlers have to dish out. Yeah, get freaky and kinky, my sweet Frenchmen. I hate the infinite scroll so very much but at least it makes it easier to do my job. So many bodies, so little blank space. Me and the volume button have something in common. We’re both tweaking. There’s so much color everywhere and oh god, so many cocks in one place.
This site is what I imagine gay dudes see when they’re tripping. Ripped men, naked tattooed bodies swirling around everywhere you look. Either Icegay.tv has no chill with the threesome content, or it’s just how the French are built. Okay, yep, I checked and it’s not Icegay.tv that we should be congratulating for the fun stuff. It’s just the French and their insatiable nature for multitudes of cocks. I doubt that you’ll find these many gay, French threesomes in one place on another site, though. The queer birds have flocked to congregate in groups of three or more here. Goddamn beautiful sight even though I’m not really into bird watching. I like my birds breasted.
The breasted birds do appear in this huge French poly nest once in a while. Yeah, that’s right. The occasional woman sandwiched between two beefcakes is a thing that happens. There’s nothing I can do to stop it, sorry boys. It’s a rare sight though, so you have to stay brave and power through. I wish I could take the women from your gay porn sites and into my bedroom. I’d be doing everyone a service and end up a hero. If you’re a stranded woman on a gay porn site with lots of French chaps, don’t hesitate to call me. I know you’re scared, just stay calm and slowly step away from the penises. I have a nice soft penis I mean bed right here.
What else is new
If you thought I wasn’t going to talk about old French gay farts, what’s wrong with you? Were you born yesterday? It’s inescapable. It’s a staple of the cuisine. Old farts in gay French porn are the equivalent of red wine and baguettes in French culture. It’s the first thing you can possibly think of. Or at least the first thing that comes to my porn rotted brain. Don’t hate the player hate the game. It’s not my fault for being this pornographically educated. And yeah, of course there’s an army of ripped spring chicken white dudes. But do you know a place on the internet without that particular genre of man?
Yeah, didn’t think so. Underneath the French muscle daddies and twinks, there’s always an old man. Watching. Waiting for his turn with your bootyhole. Or in this case using clamps on his nipples under a bridge. It’s always a goddamn adventure with the senior citizens. Shame is out the window. It’s been replaced with all the things they never got to do when gay wasn’t okay. Back when people were much bigger morons. This one I’m looking at right now has recorded and uploaded a twenty six minute video of himself staring at the camera, cock in hand. He’s doing nothing in particular. Just enjoying being naked and French on the internet for all the other queer dudes to see. For free too.
The whole site is free. It even says so in their banner. They’re proud about it. No ads stuffed down your throat either, just cocks. As annoying as some features are, I respect them for serving up so much free shit with basically no ads in sight. You can make an account to chat with their AI buddy for roleplaying reasons. What, huh? That’s so fucking out of the blue. They really need to push that feature a little more. Are you telling me this whole time I could have roleplayed with a gay French chatbot? Well no thanks, but, thanks. I’ve got a date with yesterday's burrito to attend to. That’s right, not every night is filled with endless pussy on tap. Give a gut a break. Go watch some French gay dudes sucking on toes. Or that old man clamping his nips. For a site that annoys me with its features it does impress me with its features. The filtering system is a-okay, the related tags are fine too. The background is gray so it’s nice for the peepers.
