Regurgitated content
Ladies and gentlemen we’ve hit a wall. A very gay and French wall. Shit that I’ve seen like three times already has flocked to XGayTube French. They really need to switch it up and give me something fun to look at. We get it, the epic French orgy slaps. You don’t need to tell me across fifty sites. I feel like I know these people intimately at this point. I mean I’ve seen their rectums and cocks so we can’t get more intimate than that. Except we can because I know these people across time and space already. I mean the content is great and all. So I’m definitely not complaining about that. But if a person serves you the same cock day in and day out, wouldn’t you get bored? Oh, I guess that’s called marriage. Y’all are weird with that one I swear.
I even see the video that fools me every time. An ass in nice black lace panties and a plaid skirt. The real short schoolgirl skirt kind. It activates my male lizard brain senses into thinking it’s a female butt. It’s not. Sometimes the twinks like to switch it up and look extra feminine for their dommy daddies. Especially the French gay ones. I see a couple of thumbnails on XGayTube that I’ve seen before with the same themes. Bras, thigh highs, skirts and fishnets being torn off of twinks by muscle stacked men. I totally get it; those accessories make me ravenous too.
This site repeats its own content too by the way. I can get behind the same bomb videos being used everywhere. Like you can get behind the men in then. What gets my hypothetical panties in a bunch is when I see the same shit on page one and three. The library is already pretty small. Six pages of French people fucking is not nearly enough for a standard goon session. If those six pages have doubles then there’s even less of what you came here to watch. I’m not going to count and do the math for you. My degree is in pussy science. This is above my pay grade.
Stinky user experience
Why couldn’t XGayTube suck in the fun way? Like, I don’t know, the penis sucking kind of way. There’s a proper joke in there just stay with me. It will land in a couple of hours. I’m here to see French fruity frotters not get pissed off at a stupid UI. When you’re jacking it there’s no time to think and search for more content. All the blood has migrated to the penis. We as a society depend on the related videos to get us to the finish line. But you can’t get there so easily with this site because half of the videos are just missing. Not improperly loaded or broken. Just holes in whole goddamn operation. I actually sat down and put my brain to use for once and counted how many are missing. Harvard, let’s talk about that math degree after all. Please send a hot, vivacious boobed up representative to my quarters. Thigh highs or fishnets are not optional.
Out of thirty three related videos on any given random ass video, eight are missing. It’s laughably bad. An insult to the great big porn gods. They’re angry and they’ll be sending you a letter. This is the letter. I am the porn gods. Got you there. The comment section is kind of cute. On a site as crappy as this one, I really didn’t expect a functioning comment section. Well, it’s there, but no one gives a shit. No one has come to the party to leave notes except for one person who just said “Francis”. That’s pure absurdist gen z comedy right there. Oh and I looked, I really looked. My history is going to be hefty with whatever the fuck kind of videos I clicked.
The only thing that makes me a bit forgiving is that this site is new. We’ve all been there buddy. Unfortunately my audience does not pay me for my empathy services. They don’t pay me at all actually, we just have a symbiotic relationship. I entertain them and they gather their cum for a super secret project of mine. I knew the site was new before even checking because some things are genuinely great here. Modern design, slick buttons, black background that doesn’t fry my eyes. Someone in the dev department knows what’s up. But there’s also a nitwit in some corner who can’t fix his code.
Making good decisions
I have one thing to say to the person who decides what goes on this site. Good job. I can see you’re really trying. Especially with the other glue eating fuckwads on your team. The crap on this site is not nearly as crappy as the site itself. It’s not something I’d send in a mass email to my gay friends but I’m still impressed by the competence. Only a few mega bizarre videos have slipped through the cracks. The rest of the cracks are looking healthy and very French. If you’re seeing an outrageous amount of abs and good looking people you know you’re on the French side of porn. It’s just not fair. What kind of genes do these people have? Is there something in the water over there that turns the freaking frogs gay? And also very ripped and athletic.
XGayTube might not be a very good site. It might not even be a little good. But it makes it up by supplying me with nice things to look at. Yeah that’s right. I can appreciate a drool worthy physique without actually waning to drool. These men are drooling all over each other though. So there won’t be a dripping saliva shortage any time soon. On bigger sites you never know what to expect. That might be your flavor of fun, same. But if you like it over saturated with the same kind of safe video, you’ll like it here on XGayTube French. Just don’t get flashbanged by the occasional weirdo roaming around.
The sea of attractive young ripped French men is sometimes interrupted by a stinky pirate. The pirate being some old guy with a fetish that you, your mother or I have ever heard about. I know, I checked with her last night. She was helping me with my XGayTube French homework. We saw this one dude putting piss in his wiener and back into his urethra. I’ve seen that video before. I’ve even told you about it. I’ve suffered it once so now I have to take you down with me again. Moving passed that godawful visual. Ah, there we go. More sea of hunky French gay man. Just the way I like it. I mean you like it.
One trick gay pony
Alright alright we get it, hot white dudes. Whoopty doo. I’m happy I found something okay about XGayTube French but it’s short lived. There’s nothing fun to do in here. I don’t need you to add in some crazy BDSM crap okay? Just do something interesting. Anything. Someone come and poke XGayTube French with a stick. See if it’s alive. We need a doctor in the house, preferably not a ripped, attractive one. I’m tired of seeing them. What I wouldn’t do to see a BBC right now. Or someone’s seasoned old balls. Not the fat old slob kind, please. Just a silver fox daddy, por favor. I’m dying over here and the only thing that can save me is seasoned balls.
Weirdly enough, the boobs I’m seeing right now aren’t doing it. I’m not doing them so what’s the point? They don’t belong on XGayTube French, so there’s nothing exciting about their random appearance. I’ve scrolled far and wide into the lands of French gay content on this site. A glimmer of hope materialized when I saw one single unit of BBC penis. It’s over now. I’m being engulfed by more hot white dudes. Don’t save me, save yourself. Or come to XGayTube French and jack your peenar to hot white dudes if boring, repetitive content is your thing. We can’t all be superstars it’s okay.
If you find my body somewhere in there, send me a woman. I miss boobs. I also miss pretty sites without broken buttons. I see a video of a Southern boy getting owned by a French daddy. It’s an alight video, except it says that the duration of it is six years ago. Hold on to your knickers everybody, XGayTube has invented time travel. Or maybe there are some unexplained glitches in the matrix. I want to believe. Believe that the site isn’t this utterly and completely borked.
