Weirdness and wild variety
The site XNXX is such a perfect middle ground between normal porn and absolute debauchery. You start from gays making love all cutesy and cuddly but trail off to some super kinky shit real fast. I mean how did we get to Disney style Mickey costumes and gunpoint role play on page two, I have no idea. This is a place of fun. It’s where you go when you’re bored of rubbing it out to studio quality A listers. I don’t want to play favorites. All porn is good porn, even feet have grown on me. But XNXX is up there when it comes to where I go to give my wiener a spa treatment. It’s a candy shop, and it’s no different for their Gay French category.
Where else are you gonna find two gay Santa’s going at it? And that’s not all. They’re joined by an elf. Somehow they’re all also fathers, because that makes sense for the plot. I guess the French can’t let go of their generational daddy issues. If that’s too tame for ya, worry not. We’re just getting started. Here in our French fruity candy store we’ve got treats for all kinds of degenerates. Maybe you were stunted by anime and can now only blow a load to 2D men. Hey, I’ve seen it happen. You don’t need to pretend. There’s a lot of gay and French 2D men here on XNXX. It even gets educational at times. Educational being a loose term, as loose as your butt after a session with your designated but chum.
I’m watching something right now baffled at how the title says educational and not comedic. Now use your tongue to tickle my hole, is an insane piece of literature. I can learn something from these obviously impeccable artists. Next time I want a chick to stick something in there for funzies, I’m using that. If she tells me that it looks kinda dirty I’ll be prepared. Casually saying “well, no matter” like the dude in this video, is what I’ve been missing all along. I’ll never have to clean my ass again. Not that I don’t want to, you dirty rats. It’s just a form of speech. I bathe, pinky promise.
Normie porn is here to stay
Okay, okay I can hear you all now. But papa porn dude, I don’t wanna watch weird shit for entertainment purposes. I just wanna blow loads to skinny bitches being taken by bears and otters. First I’ll tell you, please email me about what an otter is. I don’t have that kind of willpower to search it up. Then I’ll have you know that you’re missing out. You cannot live a full lifetime without the absolute absurdity I just watched. But fine, you want normal shit? I’ll give you some normal shit. Don’t come crying to me after you’ve missed out on the golden nuggets on XNXX.
The straight edge not so straight gay French porn on this site is art. I have to know how these dudes keep themselves so ripped year round. For all of you normies out there, you’ll be happy to know that XNXX is full of well produced twosomes, threesomes and orgies galore. Oh and solo content of course. Lots of solo content of very hung very handsome gents jorking their big girthy cocks. The only thing I haven’t seen yet is someone dressed in a black and white striped shirt. Did we work so hard as a society to have stereotypes for nothing? Where are the titles with baguette jokes. Sigh. It’s right there you know? Take it, run with it, put long crusty old baguette in your title, I beg of you.
French people and their granddaddy issues
Speaking of old there are a lot of old farts here. We’ve left the candy store and entered the nursing home. What did I tell ya? Damn French gays and their granddaddy issues. There are sexy adjacent kinda fine looking grandpas. Then there are fat fatass fatties who like it that way. When it comes to big, chunky gay men there’s no shame. The titles are pumped with keywords that would make the fat acceptance movement people spontaneously combust. Fun fact, people spontaneously combusting, flames and all, is a real thing that can happen. I don’t know about you but I do it every day, call it spontaneous busting. In your mom’s ass.
You know, at least they’re letting the ancient fat farts participate with the twinks. Good on them for helping grandpa though his joint pain exercises. When they’re not sticking it to much younger men they’re still out there living their best life though. I see one old dude right now pissing. That’s it. Just pissing in the toilet. There’s something for everyone and everyone is into something. I fucking guess. You’ll need a lot of time and stamina to fap through all of this content because Jesus there’s too much of it. By the time you’re done, because I assume you get no bitches, you’ll get old and fat. Then you can join the rest of these Frenchies. I jest, I joke, I hope you get a bloke to poke your penis.
Of course, we also have the hunky not chunky old dudes. Unlike the chonks, the videos they’re in are more tame. It’s a snooze fest if you’re looking for something more bizarre. But if you want to see twinks railed by muscle daddy geezers you’re in the right place. No joint therapy for this bunch I tell ya. They’re flexible, full of hair and ready to eat ass. Everything I see is disproportionately in the young and old category. At this point if I tell you why I’ll be like an old man myself, yelling at the clouds. For the denser bunch, French man like old man. Tale as old as time. I swear to my cock I can’t even find one goddamn video of an old hunk jacking it alone for the love of the game. It’s all twink this femboy that. Like in true gay and French fashion a lot of the plot has to do with lovers and not cock suckers. Where’s the bondage, my dude?
The french revolt against their doms
I mean it’s there you just have to work hard to find it. You have to activate the brain cells that are holding on for dear life. It’s not easy when you’re mashing your chode, I know. The bondage content is there though; worry not my fruity friend.
Looks like the gay French men had it in them to be down dirty and nasty after all. I mean the tags are bonkers. Slave, foot worship, sirs in suits and tied up twinkies galore. Once in a while a woman shows up in a dominatrix suit. I wonder what she’s doing there. Maybe she walked on the wrong set and stayed for the very long French dicks. You can also find a video of a dude with ten clothes pegs on his balls. Unfortunately he’s not getting pegged in this one, he didn’t see how poetic that would be.
You’ve got so much lovely degeneracy to choose from and jack it to, now scram. My side hoes are coming over and they’re hangry for my penis. Not hungry and angry by the way that’s slang for old people. It’s horny and angry now, yeah that’s it. I’m giving you all new slang and supplying penis. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah, my opinions on things, sure. Like always XNXX is slick, fast and has lots of pages for you to get freaky for days. And like always there are videos locked behind a premium walls that may or may not be better for your penis health. Judging by the view count though, you don’t really need to give a shit about the premium boy pussy. No one is rushing to watch them. Although maybe y’all are stingy and missing out on spectacular ass kissing.
I’m not even into this content and I still want to know what hell hell’s kitchen porn video is. That’s the show of one very angry British cook by the way. If you know you know. One thing I love about XNXX is they don’t annoy you to spend your cold hard cash on premium shit. Move past the first page and you’re balling with 112 pages just for you gay gooners who fantasize about Parisian dong. Have fun, rub dub dub and don’t get callouses on your peen. Maybe go outside and touch ass a little.
