Surprising piece of quality porn
God fucking damn this site is very interesting. Definitely not in the regular boring shit category. But it’s also not weird, insane or just plain bad. It’s a secret third option. Like it was a passion project for someone, and then they just forgot about it. They went to live a normal life away from porn. It was never about the money for them. They just wanted to put porn out there for the masturbators to enjoy. Whoever it is they loved French dude sex I’ll tell you that. Oh and it’s very much not forgotten. The receipts clearly say shit is still being uploaded. It just feels very stripped of a lot of bells and whistles that modernized sites have. It’s all very straight to the point. Or in this case gay to the point. French and gay. Ten pages of the stuff.
Which doesn’t seem like a lot because obviously. Other places and spaces have a lot more gay French twinks for you to jerk it too. It’s all about quality though. Somehow iWank French has quality shit even if it doesn’t seem like it on the surface. It reminds me of trail mix. It’s not a full meal but damn if it’s not good. You’ve got a little bit of everything. Something salty here, something sweet there. It’s basically the equivalent of girl dinner. I’m sure by now you’ve seen the huge fad that is girl dinner. A little bit of everything on a plate. If you ask me the only proper girl dinner should be my cock. Sadly I don’t make the rules. If I did we’d all be well fed.
I love how simple everything is on iWank French. By the way that name is ridiculous. I thought we stopped naming things with an I in the front for the meme of it. What is this 2015? I forgive iWank for this minor stupid detail. I love everything about it, for now. It’s so easy to navigate and I know what I’m getting into. Tags right under the videos, HD marked in the corner. Little timestamps in the other corner. Jacking off is not a sport. Well, at least for me. I don’t know what you goblins do with your penises. So I don’t want to put in the effort to find the right buttons or click the wrong things. I want my gay French boys easily accessible.
Your eyes are not safe
Now because this site has everything, you’re not safe. You should know that going in. You might stumble on a grenade that you didn’t want to step on. Like videos of fetishes that would make even the biggest fetishists clutch their pearls. I’m talking poop stuff. I’m talking unthinkable things done with bottles. Sites like these should have warnings and censorship. Goddamn it now I sound like your everyday boomer. Fine, fine, you don’t need to censor everything. But like, put a little mascot in the corner or something. Make it warn you about the poop. Some people really need to be warned about the poop. Others might want to know about the poop. It’s a good system.
Or like, prolapsed anuses. I’m very grateful to the French for not prolapsing their anuses a lot. I don’t know how those two things are tied exactly. You know, Frenchies are an elegant bunch, so I imagine they don’t want to see gore in the mirror when morning comes. Sometimes they do, though, and they even click upload. I’m looking at one hanging asshole right now. I’d like to stop looking at it if that’s okay. Moving on from the hanging butt I see hanging balls. Not as bad sure but hot diggidy dog. An old man in red stockings with hanging balls getting ass fingered was not on my bingo cards today.
Or even worse, an old man hanging by his dick. These two videos are practically next to each other by the way. It’s not as bad as the poop one, just a little hard to look at. I guess you can’t love everything a trail mix has to offer. For me, that’s the nuts. Especially if those nuts are put in a tube. Attached to an old French dude fighting for dear life. At least it’s a legendary way to go if the old fucker croaks. I don’t know if this other dude I’m looking at can say the same thing. Again, a French gay man with electronics around his cock and a puppy mask was not on my bingo cards this fucking year.
The normal shit
Now that we’ve rid ourselves of the deep sea porn on iWank French I can tell you about the normie shit. It’s great. Nothing very studio, overproduced or fake looking.
iWank French is full of little pleasure pockets of French men filming and uploading for the love of the game. I told you didn’t I? This whole goddamn operation looks like a passion project and not at all like a cash grab. I see so many French twinks in lingerie. They could have fooled me into thinking I’m stumbling into women. Because they look fit, clean and easy on the eyes. That’s usually how I’d describe babes, not random French men on a random site. Some are in bike shorts if that’s more your thing. Others have gone full sissyfication with feminine tops with lace and shit. Most of them are naked. Obviously.
I even discovered the first boy pussy on iWank French. On every site with French people on them, all I saw were cocks. So many goddamn cocks. I take pussy when I can get it. Y’all need to learn from the younger generations and be more inclusive. Put more boy pussy on your sites. Men calling each others assholes boy pussy is something I’ve heard a million times. You need to step up your game and invite more real authentic boy pussy into your life. iWank French is showing you the way. It will also out of nowhere show you an old man with machinery around his nipples. But that’s neither here nor there. And yes, I mean actual what the fuck is going on here machinery. You should definitely go see and tell me what it is. I don’t have extensive knowledge on degeneracy. I’m a proper normal man. I promise.
Fun never ends
Sometimes I’ll be yapping about a site and want to fall asleep. Other times I’ll want to go into a witness protection program and never come back to you weird fucks. This is not one of those times. I applaud iWank for keeping me entertained. I’m even beginning to get used to the more out there filth you people like to watch. It definitely beats hearing a chick fake moan on a huge studio. Although I definitely won’t be beating my meat to this anytime soon. I’ll leave the potato mashing to you. You can go on iWank French and have lots to play with. I don’t think there’s another site with this much diversity when it comes to taste. We the normal people like ‘em lean and oh boy, you’ve got that here. Lean French men with spectacular aesthetic looking cocks. Some of you fuckers are into fatties though. iWank French has a ton of those too. Alone, naked and doing weird shit. Not alone and having fun with another fatty. Mixed and matched ones where one dude is a mountain and is getting fucked by a stick. It’s like the French gay version of the body positivity movement over here.
And it’s all neatly divided into tags that make sense. Well also some tags that make absolutely no sense but are great comedy. I’d like to know what the fuck milk as a tag is supposed to be. It’s definitely not about cum I’ll tell you that, or actual milk. Lots of these videos are tagged granny, with no granny in sight. Good, I don’t want to see another woman on my gay sites. Although they definitely didn’t confuse granny with grandpa since the related videos don’t have old people in them. The weird or wrong tags are rare though. Most of them are pristine. You can do parkour from anal to gloryhole all the way to strap-on and land on outdoors, until your cock falls off. Of course all the videos on iWank French are also tagged with French. You have no idea how many times I’ve walked inside a site and the dudes were not actually French. We can all bow down to iWank. I wish you a lot of delicious, cum filled wanking, iWank. And you too, my coomer gooner reading this. Stop reading now and go have a wank to iWank French.
