Everything everywhere all at once
Men, we are no longer in the confined spaces of porn sites. We are out there in the wild now. I would love to say every man for himself. But we all know that that was the case from the start. I wasn’t envisioning you fuckers having boyfriends. We’re all alone now, in the trenches of X. Grab your cocks. Grab a beer, this is not a normal place. It used to be way back when someone else owned it. Now it’s in the hands of an overgrown manchild twat with too much of daddy’s money. We let this happen by investing in Tesla stock and buying shitty cars. Now we have to bear his madness and the unthinkable things he’s done to this site. Twitter good. X bad. That’s all I’m going to say.
The porn has suffered a lot, obviously. I don’t jack it to social media posts so I’m not too much in the loop. But I see things. I hear things. Terrible things. That this has become a cesspool of red pilled maniacs who call themselves influencers. Or worse, finance bros and developers. You think that wretched bunch is gonna bring good porn to this site? Oh, sweet summer child. It’s nuked. We can wrap it up. It’s all crap. There is no porn. There are politics and memes, and memes about politics. Of course those politics are bizarre, that’s a given. Right this very moment I’m being stared at by a rainbow flag with the Turkish logo on it. You know the moon with the star thing. How did we get here? I’m supposed to be looking at gay French porn.
Right next to it, a GIF of Ben Shapiro. Huh, what, pardon? Come again for big fudge I beg of you. I had no idea Ben Shapiro denounced his nationality, turned French and came out gay. Good on him, out of the things to be that’s a much better option for him. At least he’s a man to look at, so it loosely ties to the themes. Men are rare on X French. There are women and so, so many memes. Not the good kind of memes mind you. Stupid ones that aren’t funny or have anything to do with gayness. Or Frenchness. If you want to look at memes, go anywhere else. If you want to look at porn, also go anywhere else.
Don’t look back
You want to stay away from politics on X. That is not a question. I’m telling you. This is a hypnosis session. Nothing good can come out of delving into this land. Go find a boyfriend. Fill up his asshole. Kiss, make lunch and take walks. Anything is better. Lick his cum gutters. Run forest, run. I’ve been here for a while and still haven’t found any porn. But a meme telling you to stay rare because the flock was programmed, yep. That’s absolutely gay and French my dude. Or a picture of Brad Pitt with a quote about him converting to Satanism. Aha, exactly what I came here for. Still, it’s comedic so I’ll give it a pass. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of comedy in this bleak space. Other than memes and politics, there’s a whole bunch of racist bullcrap. Washing your brain with acid would be way more productive.
The absolute lunacy doesn’t stop at racism of course. Did you not hear that we’re actively living in the world of Idiocracy? I mean the movie. Go watch it it’ll be a better idea than going on X for porn. A poster not to vaccinate your little gremlins is a much worse visual. Apparently vaccines cause asthma, allergies and autism. I ask you again, for your finest of pardons. How the fuck did we get here? That’s a rhetorical question, Muskrat is the answer. Not in the mood for bullshit propaganda, huh? Okay then, take a look at this AI generated picture of a fat chick on a scooter. Or this AI generated picture of a man assaulting a sheep. Not in the Turkish way. He’s telling the sheep to wake up. Dear fucking fuck, I’ve never seen a worse place on the internet in my life.
All I wanted to see was some French cock. Nope, just more sheep memes. Of course these fuckweeds can’t be original. Wake up sheeple! That statement is as old as my grandpa’s left toenail. Well, not literally, they grow and get cut. Shut up, you get my point. At the very bottom there’s some kind of AI movie poster of two dudes kissing. Wow, progress. All we needed to do was hit the bedrock of the internet. I didn’t even know that was possible. There’s one more hand drawn picture of two men hugging. That’s about all there is to it chief. The gay French studs were all in your dreams. Time to wake up and smell the X politics.
The toilet of the internet
Basically, the only thing at least kind of related to gay, French or porn is the art. Not good art, not even mediocre art. But it’s something to work with other than the millionth about how we’re all sheeple. I hear Tumblr or DeviantArt are the better options for this kind of shit. Don’t quote me on that, I don’t jack it to drawings. Okay just a little hentai here and there but that’s it. I’ve got some art hoes on rotation so they tell me all I need to know about the art world. They’re very disappointed by the X pseudo politicians taking their social media. I don’t even have a horse in this race and I still agree with them. Get radicalized, overthrow X, bring back my porn!
It’s the only way. Or else you’ll be seeing a lot more godawful racist memes. The only thing actually, for real, mentioning something gay and French here is an insult. Something something F slur something. Wow, hilarious. I can’t stop laughing, I’m practically falling off the chair. Save your precious little braincells and go to Reddit. Braincells don’t last forever, especially when you jerk off too much. Use them wisely, go outside, touch some ass.
Or look at furry porn on X, I ain’t your dad. Out of the five drawings I saw on X French, four of them were furry art. Still magnificently better than the final level of hell that is the rest. Hell, I’ll even have a little wank, just to thank the furry artists. Someone actually sat down and drew French gay dog people. One of them is riding a horse so I have no idea how the rules work here. I thought this was all about the animal kingdom in equality. How can the horse act as a car for dogs? Some things we may never know. These French gay man dogs are even in love or something. They’re dressed very dashingly too. Way too wholesome for everything else on X French. The poor artist should get off this site and get me off instead. I’m not a French gay man dog but hey, it’s something.
One picture of feet
Welcome, welcome, come on down. Don’t be afraid, come closer. See the biggest attraction of them all. Ladies and gentlemen, this is no illusion. What you’re about to see is real. Everybody rise from your seats for one picture of feet. Thank you, one picture of feet will be here all night. No flash photography please, you might scare one picture of feet away. You see, it’s the only thing we have left. You don’t want to frighten it, Mr. Feet might run away. Everything else already ran away and joined a better circus. Our audience has been less than graceful. They talk about sheep, vaccines, and the orange man a lot. So you can imagine how our attractions left us. Except for the wonderful one picture of feet.
The bloke who posted it obviously meant it as porn. I can see it in the tags, which are useless on X now by the way. A for effort, it’s not easy to try in these wastelands. I only have one glimmer of hope for you. The porn is out there somewhere, hiding in crevices of these wastelands. I’ve seen it with my own penis. He’s very sensitive to porn. The big guy can smell it even when the site mostly smells like shit. It’s not going to be an easy task to find this porn I speak of though. The search bar doesn’t work. No one uses tags anymore because they’re broken. The only thing you can do is follow the right people. They exist and they do post real, in the flesh porn. Not furry art. Find the French dudes you like, I pinky promise you they have a LinkTree with X on it.
