The secret to the universe
Some of you might be way too young to get this reference. The number 42 is the secret answer to all the questions you’ve ever had. It’s from the book or movie or whatever. About homeless people going around the universe. I don’t know, I’ve never seen it. I’m too busy with pussy to be a nerd. I remember the memes though. Now you might be asking yourself, what the fuck are you talking about papa porn dude? Well, today gay French category on BoyfriendTV French has 42 pages. Not too shabby. Also the magic meme number. It’s not the superior 69 or the even better, current brainrotted one which we won’t speak of because I’ve had enough of it. It being 42 though makes me think, okay this is the holy grail. Perhaps, mayhaps.
I’m seeing a lot of different shit so that’s a good start to the theory. It’s got your classic fucking and your weird fetish fucking. It’s got convenient percentages on every video to let you know, something. I’m not sure what because it’s a goddamn percentage. It’s probably about how many people like it. Just a very odd way to serve a like and dislike ratio purpose. The most important thing that makes this the holy grail is the live chat. You don’t need an account or a sign-up or a blood oath to fucking participate. And that, I can appreciate. So many sites want you to basically sacrifice a goat before you can get to the main meat. They fuck around with you and force you into an email newsletter type of shit. What are you going to send me news on you doorknob? The latest, biggest French cock? The new pretty feet in town?
Here on BoyfriendTV French you can jump in and start chatting. Find the French boy of your dreams just by asking for one. I’m very serious, this is what they’re talking about in the chat. Someone fucked a Russian dude. Another is asking for dick pics. A man from France wants to send you his cock. How wonderful, a community around being a gooner without the hoops. You don’t have to look for the perfect Discord server or pay a ladyboy of the night. You gay dudes have it so easy it’s not even funny. With chicks you have to drag your balls through broken glass just to smell their fart. And they’ll still show you the door in the end. All the while people on BoyfriendTV send their Snapchat username and call it a day.
Very subpar titles
Now, if you don’t wanna chat and are here to watch, you might have a hard time getting any useful context. So many French boy videos are titled in their own language. Still fine for the people who speak French I guess, so you’d think it’s not that bad. You’re wrong. Other titles are just garbage. Utter and complete nonsense string cheese of letters. They look like usernames or something but fuck if I know if that’s correct. You’ll have to just go by thumbnails. At least those are juicy. Some people went the lazy route and just wrote French where other words should be. Tell me fellas, is it that hard to write a decent title? The hardworking men of the world should know what they’re getting into.
Where are the descriptive words, where is the passion for your art? Shaking my head in disapproval. I see something named Fr. Just that and nothing else. Apparently it’s about a guy holding his ass. I would have no way of knowing whether to jack off to this. Maybe it’s the best video that’s ever existed. I’m not very motivated to click on it when you’re not pulling me in. I get to be butthurt. It’s my job to give the people good words to eat up. If you want your cock digitally eaten up step up your title game. At least some broken, weird ass titles are descriptive enough to be intriguing. Pope exhibits is one of them. It’s lazy but I want to know more. Even better, ahem, oink oink piggy. Now that’s something you want to explore on a Tuesday night.
If you come to me with the title huuuuuuuuge and nothing else, I might just bitchslap you across the room. One fuckwad just typed in Elon Musk. I can assure you, this is not the famous turd sandwich billionaire extraordinaire on a random site with French gays on it. Although it wouldn’t surprise me at this point. The dude is a lizard, who knows what he does in the shadows. One more beef with the titles and I’ll move on I swear. Some brainlet wrote XXX and ate the other letters. Wow, really, porn on my porn site? Never tell me the odds.
Great mix of content
If you look past the absolute fuckery of the titles, you’ll find great shit. Nothing too spectacular but just the right stuff to keep you interested. Lots of men with abs, as always. A good mix of fetish shit, as we saw with the oink oink guy. He was dressed as a piggy while stimulating himself. Who that content is for I have no idea. Fat fetish is something I can’t wrap my head around but there are far worse things. Between ripped naked bodies and long cocks, of course there are the weirder things. So there’s something for everyone. There are wrestling matches which make sense as a kink. The whole sport is very gay to begin with. There are people getting off together in saunas or just outside in nature. If your preferred shit to watch is exhibitionism, you’ll have fun on BoyfriendTV French.
Don’t have the attention span to watch a complete video? No problem. BoyfriendTV French has got you covered with compilations. I see a whole lot of nothing when it comes to compilations of French gay dudes. Thank you BoyfriendTV for supplying the demand for the focus challenged. For the ones that don’t need three screens and a video game on the side to cum, they’ve got you too. Long ass videos of ass are plentiful. At least thirty minutes and up for those who want a full movie experience.
If a quickie is what you seek to clear the pipes, short but good shit is here too. Not the annoying one minute crap people post and then ask you for a subscription. Or trailers masquerading as the real deal. God, I hate trailers. We’re not in a movie theater, and BoyfriendTV French got the memo. The puppies are here too, playing with their masters. Full puppy gear and everything. You people would fetishize a white wall if you could. You probably have. Hey, I don’t judge. I just miss regular pussy with regular boobs on a regular bed.
Variety is in the air
This site might be the first one to have everything on the spectrum. Not counting the big corporate giant porn gods of course, they’ll always have an unfair advantage. Their Achilles heel though is not having enough amateur weirdness. You know, the kind of questionable videos that make you feel dirty. In a good way of course. That’s why BoyfriendTV wins this race. It’s got the basement level low quality golden nuggets, and the variety. Alongside oink oink pig you’ve got shit like fucking a cute French bottom bitch. Total opposites, both here. One is degeneracy, the other is also degeneracy but in a different way. Because it’s about love, and I won’t stand for that. You can though, if you’re into that crap, There’s lots and lots of love centered crap for your soft heart to enjoy.
If you’re like me though, you’re looking for threesomes and orgies to scratch the itch. Come on down to BoyfriendTV French to scratch it, they’ve got your fix. Again, lots of it. With attractive dudes too, long cocks and everything. I see three who are in a literal sword fight with their dick. You can imagine being inside that dick sandwich all day long.
There’s the occasional piss video here and there too. I know some of you want the golden water in a sexual way. You weirdos. Livestreams are unfortunately a big part of the scrolling and picking process. It would be good if they had anything to do with French people but they don’t. But if you get bored of the French and want to hop on a live show, more power to ya. Join the chat before you go anywhere else. It’s probably the best part of the whole thing. I find it entertaining, but that’s just me. For you, it’ll be a whole cock exchange experience.
