Serealized gay French drama
On ThisVid French you’ll get a little more than just some random porn. You’re getting a full TV show. Actually, no, many TV shows. The shit here is serialized, there’s continuity. You can pick episodes and everything. Now, I don’t know if normie, straight edge porn does this. If they do, I haven’t seen much of it. Or I’ve forgotten. Too much work with the penis makes Jack a satisfied but forgetful boy. Doesn’t matter, you don’t need that crap. This is better. You’ve got shows like Gay French. Then everyone’s favorite, Gay Arab French. Let’s also not forget the most important, French. Just, French and nothing else. Yep, these are titles of videos with accompanying numbers. And boy oh boy there are plenty of numbers.
Who needs one long video when you can have a whole series? Whoever uploaded shit like this was a revolutionary. I don’t think it’s the same guy either, we have at least two participants. The Arab and the French. They were geniuses because they predicted the short form content. The videos look a little old to me, so you know it was an original idea. Whoa, the network is bigger than we thought ladies and gays. There are even more shows, with even more episodes. I see Black Guy, and Arab Guy. Obviously a spin off to the original. They’re not the OG Gay French, but it’s still the same cinematic universe.
They’ve kept this show running for at least 124 episodes. At least that’s what one title says, and they all follow the same pattern. At this rate they’re going to beat The Simpsons. The more you look, the more shows come up. What is this, the Netflix or porn? I see the beloved French show back with its own spin off, French Cams. Black Guy is making another appearance with a whole six minutes of content this time. The only bad thing is, you don’t have a place to pick episodes. It’s up to you to find Gay Arab French if you want to watch all the episodes.
The one offs
Not a show watcher? Not a problem; there are other types of cinema here for you. I recommend seeing the critically acclaimed ones first. You know, the ones with a hundred percent like rate. Or do they call it an upvote now? I don’t fucking know. You absolutely can’t miss out on Smoking Cigar Asshole. I mean, the cinematography, the script, the plot, it’s very Lyancian. Imagine a cigar, a big, brown, girthy one. Now, imagine the same cigar not going inside a mouth, but a butt. I know right? Absolute cinema. Of course, if you were expecting a normal smoking video, they’ve got those too. Like the fan favorite Smoking Cig, no sex. Kind of unconventional, but who knows what you people are into. There’s another one with a guy smoking a cigar and not a cigarette. This time with no butt business.
Even the one offs are getting serialized. Not good. Keep the magic people. Some of us like it when things are short and have no sex in them. Not sure exactly who. But absolutely, definitely at least three people like this stuff. There are so many goddamn fun titles, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. Like, who made this? And can they please send me the rights? I have ideas. We’re making ThisVid French, Netflix edition. It will be a goldmine, the content is already there. I’ll just get some poor smuck to organize the episodes into playlists. Actually, I’ll get a hot chick to do it. Then I’ll bang her.
Seriously though, you have to come see this shit. The short videos were fun but there’s so much more. I’m in awe of this butter video. Students tests which butter is best for dildos and sex. I wish I could put in a screenshot right here to show how magnificent it looks. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but my words are better. Let me paint that picture. Imagine you’re a young chap, on a game show stage. There’s a dildo and heaps of butter in front of you, on a table. When I say heaps, I mean 30 kilograms of butter for each heap. Now, imagine slathering that dildo with butter before putting it in your ass. For the audience to see of course, you’re there for science. You’re there to discover which butter is best for dildos and sex. The French love their butter so much they even put it in the tags of this video as a standalone word. Insane.
Smoking is the new French gay porn
We shouldn’t even be surprised at the sheer number of smoking videos on ThisVid French. Like, okay, who are we kidding? Of course they’re gonna mix sex and cigarettes. They all smoke. The whole nation. Vape nation, if you know you know. Maybe you met a French person who didn’t smoke. No, you didn’t. It’s all been lies. I’m just wondering where the rest of the smoking videos are. You know, on other sites. This is the first time I’m seeing anything related to cancer sticks on my gay French sites. And ThisVid has nothing to do with smoking as an overarching theme. Very strange. They’ve probably all been banned from uploading the slow descent into cancer. And then they flocked here.
It’s nothing glamorous either. Just some guys, their balls and their smokes. Sometimes something maybe makes it in the butt. A little puff for the asshole. Other times, it’s a cigar or a vape. They don’t discriminate. Which is weird because I imagine the French would be very butthurt about this stuff. It’s not cool to vape, and cigars are for meatheads. What you want is a Marlboro Red. That’s how you impress French dudes and chicks. They want the real good stuff. The stuff that makes you sound like an ashtray being dragged on concrete. I can’t prove it, but I’m sure this habit is tied to daddy issues. I mean look at the track record. Making porn, smoking. Most importantly, lots of old men appearances in French porn. Literally, the golden mix of unresolved daddy issues.
The serialized version of ThisVid French is back with the smoking shit too, by the way. Smoking Cigar Ass was never a one off after all. There are tons of videos with the same title and a different number. It’s the same French twink, quite literally has his own show here. He smokes all kinds of crap while also being naked. Sometimes, he exposes his asshole. Just for the fun of it. Other times to pleasure it. This man knows how to live. Bro is living his best life being French and sticking ciggies up his butt.
The shadow realm
This place just keeps getting more bizarre.
I just noticed that apparently there are over 60k videos here. By here I mean just the French and gay category. Not like, the whole site. What’s even weirder is that I believe them. The series just keep on coming. Spin offs, sequels and prequels everywhere. The dude we were we just talking about? He dropped a new show, Smoking Cigar Asylum. The thing is, I can imagine the audience for this genre. I just don’t imagine it being enjoyed in this format of chopped up, one minute videos. It literally never ends with the short stuff. I think I saw like ten normal videos, everything else is a part of something bigger. Take the word normal there with a grain of cum, because I don’t know how normal you can get on a site like this. Someone is just straight up begging the general audience to help him find the whole video. That’s the title. A plea for help. On a video with dick sucking and not much else.
This is not the Wild West. That’s way too, Western. ThisVid French is more of a DPH trip. You know, bennies. For the old people out there, I’m talking about your over the counter, allergy relief pink medication. These crazy kids be trippin on it yo. I’ve read the horror stories. ThisVid French is exactly like that. Not a bad experience exactly, but a bizarre one. With bennies there’s something called a fap dose. Where you don’t take too much of the stuff and have a good wank. Apparently it makes cumming better or something.
Well, there’s stuff on ThisVid French just like that. Normal enough that you can have a little wank, even though things are a little off. Then there’s the rest. Just like the dph experience, everything is discombobulated. You never know what will come next, but you know it’ll have repetition. Like the hallucinated spiders. The spiders’ equivalent here are smoking videos. Who the Hat Man equivalent is I don’t know yet. You’ll have to dive in and find that out yourself.
